Being DM...at the hotel bar during meetings

[jaybird2001wi]

I am not sure if this would fall under "Off Topic," but here is the scenario. Imagine being Doug Melvin and having drinks with fellow GMs across the league. Who should DM talk to the most and "buy drinks" for the most in order to make a deal work?

I can picture this exchange with Cards' GM John Mozeliak and a couple other GMs late into the night:

 

Mozeliak: Boy Doug, thanks for all the drinks. So you want Rolen, huh?

Brian Cashman, Yanks GM (passes by): Doug's a good guy, he helped sign ARod in Texas, didn't he?

Melvin: Want another Mozeliak?

Mozeliak: Sure, hey... about this Rolen deal. What do you got to offer?

Wayne Krivsky: Can somebody PLEASE take Freel or Josh Hamilton off our hands?

Melvin: Hey, I will offer you Tony Gwynn Jr. and Chris Capuano... but you gotta toss in a few million for us to get Rolen?

Mozeliak: I am not that far, Dougie.

Melvin: Hey bartender, get this man another!

Kenny Williams, ChiSox GM (passes by): Hey, Krivsky... you want Podsednik?

Cashman: Didn't you guys just release Scott Podsednik?

Williams: Cashman, Shh.... he may not know.

Mozeliak: How about Capuano and that Alex Escobar kid you got down in the farm?

Melvin: You mean Alcides?

Mozeliak: Yeah, him. Thanks for the time Dougie. You been a good guy all night, how about we toss in 7 million with the deal?

Mike Cameron (walks in to talk to some of the GMs at the bar): Hey, could any of you sign me? I am still good you know.

Cashman: Boy Cameron, you think we all don't know about your suspension?

Cameron: Keep this quiet Cashman, I am trying to swindle my way back to Cincinnati.

Krivsky: Hey, weren't you the guy we traded for Junior?

[TheBrewer]

haha thats funny man, you should keep goin with that

[jaybird2001wi]

Want me to keep it going? Sure thing...

 

Continuation towards bar time

 

Melvin: Hey Krivsky, you say you want to deal Hamilton AND Freel? Then Cameron approaches you?

Krivsky: Ah, whatever.

Cashman: Hey, Mozeliak, you should seriously follow up on Melvin's trade offer for Rolen. Heck, I am trying to get Johan Santana *electroshock*

Ken Williams: What was that?

Cashman: Um, the Steinbrenner family wants to see me right now.

Theo Epstein, Red Sox GM (passes by): What's going on here? Oh my, Cashman did you just get electroshocked by Hank Steinbrenner?

Cashman: Um (anxiety), No (smiles).

Epstein: Hey, Cashman, they wanted Ellsbury and some major change for Santana. What do you got to offer?

Cashman: Um (electroshock). I can't say.

Melvin: I hate to say this at this point, but is ANYONE interested in Chris Capuano?

Mozeliak: I am... but whatever. Hey, Dougie...how did you live in Canada? You live as an Eskimo?

Melvin, Cashman and Epstein (whispering): I think this guy is done.

Epstein to Melvin: If I were you, I would take advantage of this situation. Maybe call him up every hour or so when he is passed out in his hotel room just to get Rolen. Hey, that Ryan Braun is EXCELLENT!

[TheBrewer]

lol again thats great

 

I cant be the only one who thinks thats hillarious can I? lol

[pitchleague]

it is very funny writing.

 

I know it is fiction and satire, but for anybody that is wondering (including myself) I would venture a guess that although this was the old guard way of doing things (back in the day), hanging around the bar and making deals while they are drinking probably doesn't happen much any more, what with baseball being such a big business now. I'm not doubting that it still happens every now and then. I just would venture a guess that it is now the exception rather than the norm.

 

Most GMs now a days would probably get lit up hard by their boss for making a deal while under the influence.

 

Please continue writing, however, as it is making my day a little funnier thus far.

[brewers19]

Taking this on a little stroll over to the Off-Topic forum.

[foamboy1]

bravo...