Even More Most Awesome Simpsons Quotes

[splitterpfj]

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

 

 

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

[hawing]

Bart, about Principal Skinner: Oh my God, he's like some sort of...non giving up...school guy!

[brewcrew00]

Ok, had to bring this up.

 

When the taxi pulls up in front of the IRS out in DC...

Homer: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

It's classic, I absolutely love this show.

[NeedMoreFans]

I had to put this in. It's what I forsee happening with Russia...

 

Return of the Soviet Union

[hawing]

Good timing for more Simpsons.

 

Lisa (sarcastically): Well, look at the wonders of the computer age now.

Homer: Wonders, Lisa? Or blunders?

Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.

Homer: Implied, Lisa? Or implode?

Lisa: Mom, make him stop!

[FVBrewerFan]

Homer: (Several episodes when Marge reminded him he promised to do something) "Doesn't sound like something I would say"

 

Homer: Ok brain, I don't like you and you don't like me....

[zurch1818]

Homer: Oh, you know what Arthur Fortune did lately? He donated two male pandas to the zoo and got them to mate, successfully!

Mr. Burns: And a stunt like that impresses people?

Homer: Oh, yeah. And I'm not easily impressed. (looking out window) WOW, a blue car!

[fondybrewfan]

If we have a Simpson's quote thread someone needs to start a Family Guy qoute thread.

 

I loved the Simpsons when I was growing up but the show has fallen off recently. Probably because they have already had shows an cirtually every subject so it is hard for the writers to come up with new creative stuff.

 

I loved coming home after school andwatching the Simpsons a 5, 530, and 6 on 3 different channels. Before cable this is basically all that I watched.

[dubbya13]

Ralph Wiggum, when walking into the adult section when Bart worked at the comic book store: "Everybody's Hugging."

[crewcrazy]

"America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

 

My all-time favorite: "Life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."

[Brewtacular]

Two qoutes from one of my favorite episodes...Lisa the vegetarian

 

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?

Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.

Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.

Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?

Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.

Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.

Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.

Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.

Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.

Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.

Homer: Bart, go to your room.

[NeedMoreFans]

Homer: Ha, Haha...look! That kid's got bosoms! Quick, someone give me a wet towel. Come here, you butterball.

Uter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate.

[Mike Felder]

I had to put this in. It's what I forsee happening with Russia...

 

Return of the Soviet Union

"I told him that photo would come back to haunt him."

 

"My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a thief, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star!"

[hawing]

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

http://www.boosman.com/blog/images/2003-08-15-02.jpg

 

[trwi7]

Ski instructor in a thought bubble: If you ever get into trouble...

Flanders in a thought bubble: Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all...nothing at all...nothing at all.

Homer: Ahh, stupid sexy Flanders!

 

Marge: Oh Lisa. It's nice that you want to help out around the house, but you don't have to be a savior. Just make sure your father eats on the tarp, but not the good tarp. I want you to get married on that tarp.

 

Lisa: Dad, where are your clothes?

Homer: I dunno.

Lisa: Don't tell me mom dresses you.

Homer: I guess. Or one of her friends.

 

Lisa: (tossing and turning in bed, trying to sleep) Guys, can you turn that down a little?

Homer: Sweetie, if we didn't turn it down for the cops, what chance do you have?

[crewcrazy]

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

 

Ned Flanders: They've broken every commandment except one.

Carl: Hey Lenny, covet some chili fries?

Lenny: You bet.

Ned Flanders: That's it. The whole shebang.

 

Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?

Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.

Ralph: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens

[Nader Raider Tim]

Ralph being wooed to run for president as a Dem or a Rep

 

Lisa: Ralph they have no right to do this to you, they just want to use you.

 

Ralph: Maybe I wanna use them.

 

Lisa: Maybe you WHAAAAA!

 

Ralph: Use them to make this country great again. When we're mad we'll just use are words. Then the rest of the world will play nice with us, and the only BOOM BOOMs will be in our pants.

 

Lisa: Maybe you wouldn't be such a bad President.

 

Ralph: And you can by my first ladle.

[jhart05]

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.

 

Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?

 

Homer: Yeah, but faster!

[EdgarDiazRocks]

here are the ones I use in everyday life.

 

"I dunno. Don't ask me how the economy works."

 

response to you can not have this item (pencil)

 

" (pause, slower) . . . can Lenny have it?"

 

"Who shot who in the what now?"

 

"So the moral of the story is, Never Try."

 

and it's cousin . . .

 

"Trying is the first step to failure."

 

for some odd reason . . .

 

"Golly gee, Mr Terwilliger. Geech gone to heaven!"

 

and of course the always handy . . .

"Whoo-Hoo! Default! The two sweetest words in the english language!"

[hawing]

There is always room for the Simpsons in everyday conversation.

 

I'm fond of:

"And here I am (blah blah blah) like a sucker." For example, "$3.69.9 per gallon? And here I was, paying $3.71.9 like a sucker."

[trwi7]

Marge: I tried greasing the bucket with bacon fat, but your father kept eating it.

Homer: Well couldn't you try a non-delicious fat? (sobbing) Oh, there's no such thing.

 

-------------

 

Homer: Uhh, miracle boy. I believe I had hair. Ooh, here they are.

 

-------------

 

Nerd: I invented a program that downloads porn on the internet one million times faster.

Marge: Does anybody need that much porno?

Homer: *drooling* Ooooh, one million times.

[trwi7]

Little Vicki: Self tapping shoes? I'm ever so pissed!

[thebruce44]

"This is everyone's fault but mine."

 

"Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians."

[DannyKmilw]

Homer-"Butter up that bacon boy."

Bart-"But dad, my heart hurts!"

Homer-"Do it...! Now bacon up that sausage."

 

Bart- (pointing to his hat) "Lis, check it out. Time for chili."

Lisa- "I saw it, Bart."

Bart- "You're just mad 'cause there's no clock in your hat."

Lisa- "What hat?"

Bart- "Pfft, this baby's wasted on an idiot like you."

[Minigoon]

The Scorpio episode.

 

Homer - Aww, the Denver Broncos...