[FUN] Things you hope happen before or during next season...

[joeyhepatitis]

...to make it more fun. I'm too depressed to think about the last week of the season so here's my wishlist for next year.

 

-Ryan Braun loses Rookie of the Year to Troy Tulowitzki. He gets more upset than when he was left behind after hitting 5 homeruns and batting .353 in Spring Training. He comes out next year with a vengeance, putting up epic numbers in the face of all non-believers and wins MVP. Fans start wearing Jodie Foster masks and calling him The Brave One as he enacts his revenge on the league.

 

-Ben Sheets ends up drafting himself in the 6th round of the player's fantasy baseball league as he became embarrassed that none of his teammates wanted to take an injury-prone pitcher who no longer strikes people out. Sheets gets an ingrown fingernail but, because the DL spot on his fantasy team is already filled, he forces himself to pitch through the pain for the majority of the season, makes 35 starts, and has his best year since 2004. Apparently the fingernail adds considerable sink to his fastball. Sheets still ends up losing the fantasy league to Braun, who picked Ryan Braun in the 1st round.

 

-Mark Cuban buys the Cubs and, in his first order of business, signs Barry Bonds. Fans are outraged with the idea of Bonds in the outfield, but Cuban puts him in center, citing his other team, the Dallas Mavericks, that a team can succeed in spite of not having a true center... The rest of the nation finally has reason to hate the Cubs.

 

And, hey, maybe Rickie Weeks can start doing his best Brandon Phillips impression...

[kgbaseball]

Fearing that he may not be a future Major League regular, Tony Gwynn gains 100 pounds in an effort to be just like dad.

[joeyhepatitis]

Fearing that he may not be a future Major League regular, Tony Gwynn gains 100 pounds in an effort to be just like dad.

 

Haha...The Brewers become as anxious as the fans when considering the thought that they'll never be able to resign everyone from this year so they begin to lay claim on all future children of the current ball club, citing that they're already members of the Brewer's balls organization. Attanasio is seen at church praying about the possibility that Tony Gwynn's talent skips a generation.

[bullox]

I get a nice big raise.

[1992casey]

I think that far and away, the best suggestion in this thread is to put 100 pounds on Tony Gwynn. I think giving Ben Sheets his wish and letting him hit cleanup would be cool, too.

[logan82]

I hope Wrigley burns to the ground and the Cubs get contracted.

[joeyhepatitis]

I think that far and away, the best suggestion in this thread is to put 100 pounds on Tony Gwynn. I think giving Ben Sheets his wish and letting him hit cleanup would be cool, too.

I believe that's the only thing that will make a difference next April. We also need Sheets to hit his first homerun in a Brewers uniform. Can you just imagine the media buildup to that? Hank Aaron will definitely need to videotape a response to that.

 

[BrewCrewRising]

I hope Wrigley burns to the ground and the Cubs get contracted.

 

And listen to Cubs fans in their new form whine some more about how they are victims?

 

What I would love is just that Wrigley somehow becomes unusable, and it is turned into a giant bar . That's really what it is anyway. I actually like the stadium, but just find most of my experiences there unpalatable. (A little league park during the week too would be fine).

 

Then, the Cubs after much negotiations build a stadium out in Schaumburg, IL. Cubs fans have to go way out to that suburb to see the Cubs. All the chairs and everything come from Ikea. Even the scoreboard. Everything looks like some acid trip pseudo-artistic poser euro-trash designed sculpture park. Homeruns are hit out onto the tollway instead of Sheffield and Waveland avenues.

 

Nobody goes to see the Cubs anymore and they are coined "The team that a nation forgot."

 

They are marginalized. The true Cubs fans still go see them, but it's well short of the frat boy crowd that goes around Wrigleyville after games shouting, "LET'S GO CUBBIES!!".

[PeaveyFury]

I'd like to see the Brewers acquire Rocky Cherry and retain Ray King. Just because it'd be entertaining to see Ray chase Rocky Cherry around the stadium because he thinks he's an ice cream flavor.

[Mike Felder]

I want to see Lou Palsmo in Milwaukee to ensure that our catching WOAHs are SOLVDD.

[hawing]

I want to see Lou Palsmo in Milwaukee to ensure that our catching WOAHs are SOLVDD.

 

Wasn't he a gonna be the future? hopefullly? http://static.yuku.com//domainskins/bypass/img/smileys/smile.gif

[PeaveyFury]

I'd like to see the Brewers sign Brett Favre if he retires, just so we can finally see which former QB plays a better CF between him and Gabe Gross, since it seems like we're reminded that Gabe was the QB at Auburn every other game he plays in.

[joeyhepatitis]

I'd like to see the Brewers sign Brett Favre if he retires, just so we can finally see which former QB plays a better CF between him and Gabe Gross, since it seems like we're reminded that Gabe was the QB at Auburn every other game he plays in.

I could see an under-the-table type deal between the Packers and Brewers that involved trading Jenkins for Favre. No one notices the difference, although the Journal-Sentinal is looking into why Jenkins is batting from the right side and not striking out so much and why Favre throws less interceptions with his left hand.

 

[hawing]

I've been suggesting this here and there for several years now: Hypnosis. The talent's there (at most positions), but is there a mental block between the Brewers and end of season success?

 

Hypnotize the whole team. Convince them that they can pitch, hit and field consistently well. Then cue things up so when the play ball kid shouts "Play ball!", ding! the Brewers will realize their full potential and play well from pole to pole.

 

That, and if Ray King stays, let him eat Greg Aquino, maybe even Chris Spurling.

[sbrylski]

1. Incredible comeback to make playoffs.

2. Bring back the mug.

3. Trade for Joe Nathan and Jeff Clement without using Manny Parra.

4. Hire another manager to run bullpen, while Yost handles the players "behind the scenes" or do whatever he's supposedly good at.

[Mike Felder]

I've been suggesting this here and there for several years now: Hypnosis. The talent's there (at most positions), but is there a mental block between the Brewers and end of season success?

 

Hypnotize the whole team. Convince them that they can pitch, hit and field consistently well. Then cue things up so when the play ball kid shouts "Play ball!", ding! the Brewers will realize their full potential and play well from pole to pole.

"You are all very good players..."

"We are all very good players..."

 

"You will beat Shelbyville..."

"We will beat Shelbyville..."

"You will give 110 percent..."

"That is impossible. No one can give more than 100 percent. By definition, that is the most anyone can give..."

 

[PeaveyFury]

I'd like to see the team buy Derrick Turnbow a new dog. Just because Derrick looks like a guy that could use a new dog.

[brewers19]

I'd like them to replace the 'Sausage Race' with a 'Sausage Gauntlet,' in which the warriors must struggle their way through a maze saturated with saw blades, poisonous snakes, flame throwers, and spike pits, capped off with a battle royale cage match known as the Meat Grinder. The lone victor then celebrates his triumph by gorging himself on the remains of his slain opponents.

[PeaveyFury]

I'd like to see them remove Bernie's platform and replace it with a single monkey bar. Should add considerable excitement after homeruns to see if he can really stick that landing or not.

[PeaveyFury]

I'd also like to see the C-IT-GO pump in right center matched in left center with the Del Monte Can of Corn Infield Defense Error-o-meter, measuring the number of errors committed by the Brewers' infield defense on the season. Should be very interesting to see which ends up higher.

[Ennder]

is it too much to ask to bring back the ball and glove Logo and the old slide?

 

Yeah I suppose it probably is.

 

One thing I'd like to see is for Ueker not to retire. He is starting to slip noticably but I'd really like to see him stick around until we make the playoffs which hopefully is next season.

 

I'd also like to see Ann Carol traded back to the Twins FSN~

[SoCal Brew Crew Fan]

I hope the entire Brewer infield shows up at my door tomorrow and says, "Hey SoCal Brew Crew Fan, can you grab your fungo and hit us a few grounders for the next 4-5 months. We'll send JJ out for some beers, but the rest of us really want to get to work." I naturally oblige, leading the Brewers to an entire infield of Golden Gloves.

[logan82]

I hope Wrigley burns to the ground and the Cubs get contracted.

And listen to Cubs fans in their new form whine some more about how they are victims?

 

Yeah I was going to say with all of the Cubs fans in it, but that seemed unreasonably harsh. Besides I don't believe most fans there would notice if you replaced the Cubs with a minor league team as long as the beer kept flowing.

[billyhallfan]

i want adam dunn in a brewers uniform

[TuesdaysWithRillo]

I'd like to see Bill Hall go back on HGH so he can get back to his 35 homer total of 2006.