Can Bill Hall Pitch?

[MHgb]

Baseball officials unanimously voted to rename the sport from "baseball" to "billhall."

 

Bill Hall once robbed a home run by simply telling the ball to stop flight.

 

Bill Hall has warning track power when he squares around to bunt.

 

Bill Hall once pitched a perfect game while playing center field.

 

Bill Hall has been named the lone National League representative at the 2006 All Star Game.

[PeaveyFury]

The moon does not revolve around the earth, it actually revolves around Bill Hall.... while keeping a respectful distance out of fear.

 

The Geoff Jenkins bobblehead given out in 2001 wasn't inspired by the bobbleheads from decades ago, but by what actually happened when Bill Hall hit Jenkins in the head one day.

 

 

 

Good thread. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

[BrewCrewRising]

Quote:

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Bill Hall cannot be cloned

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Not quite true.

 

He can be cloned, but every international arms treaty forbids it.

 

He was cloned once and the result was an explosion that created Jupiter.

[PeaveyFury]

The term 'dark ages' doesn't refer to a time period between 500 and 1000 AD in Europe, but actually referrs to the couple of years in the minors when Bill Hall was referred to as Will.

[RayKingsForemanGrill]

Bill Hall taught Ned Yost the word: battle

 

Bill Hall told Brett Favre to "man-up" like a good Mississippi boy and play in 2006.

 

Bill Hall cured Robin Yount's virus by rubbing beef jerky on his knee.

 

Fredo broke Bill Hall's heart, too - and because of it, Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes...

 

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f156/mrelverman/Godfather.jpg

[Fatter than Joey]

Bill Hall is his own father and brother.

 

Bill Hall understands the balk rule

 

Bill Hall ate just one

 

Bill Hall won an Emmy for his play at 2b

 

Roger Clemens is hiding from Bill Hall.

 

The Hall of Fame used to be called -- The historic baseball center at Cooperstown.

 

Bill Hall is his own firewall

[BrewCrewRising]

Quote:

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Bill Hall cured Robin Yount's virus by rubbing beef jerky on his knee.

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Holy cats.... I am picturing this for some reason and laughing like a fool here!

[rluzinski]

Not 100% original but...

 

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a345/rluzinski/billreaper.png

 

Hall just doesn't steal players starting spots, he steals their souls!

[RayKingsForemanGrill]

Now that's some good work, Russ...

[BrewCrewRising]

Nicely done Russ.

[Team Canada]

The reason baseball players wear gloves is because Bill Hall throws so hard.

 

Except Bill Hall. He wears a glove so the other players don't feel bad.

[DougJones43]

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/1564/hallbrasky0ct.png

"We once had a bachelor party for Billy Hall. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it!"

[mothershipconnection]

- Bill Hall can throw a 97 mph slider...with his foot.

- Bud Selig fought to keep Bill Hall out of the WBC, saying "we're trying to build bridges between nations, not crush them 500 feet to dead center".

- Bill Hall turned down a CIA offer of $5 billion to capture Osama Bin Laden, saying that anyone who throws less than 95 is too easy to take out.

-Bill Hall once hit a Nobel Prize winning doctor with his bat. That doctor is Ronnie Woo-Woo.

-Bill Hall considers chin music to be an aphrodisiac.

-Pitchers don't walk Bill Hall because of baseball strategy, they do it out of fear for what he'll do if they make him run.

-Doug Melvin didn't shave his moustache, he lost it when he bet Bill Hall he couldn't jump and touch Miller Park's roof.

-Wilt Chamberlain's fatal heart attack was caused by the revelation of how many women Bill Hall has been with.

-"The Mercy Rule" has been renamed "The Bill Hall Rule".

-Bill Hall once played 11 positions in the same game.

-The knuckle ball only occurs because the ball gets nervous about Bill Hall.

-Bill Hall hit a 600 foot homer for show and tell in kindergarten.

-Bill Hall's fastball has been recorded at 105 mph...2 seconds after it touches the catcher's mitt.

-Barry Bonds doesn't wear body armor to protect himself from pitches, he wears it to protect himself from Bill Hall.

-Bill Hall once hit a ball of Dennis Eckersley so hard that his mullet fainted.

-Ben Sheets did not stop shaving, he stopped letting Bill Hall touch his face.

-Steve Sparks did not try to tear a phonebook, he tried arm wrestling Bill Hall.

-Russell Branyan wears the shades out of fear for what would happen if he looked directly at Bill Hall.

-Julio Franco is only able to keep playing because Bill Hall likes talking to him at first.

-The MLBPA has recently renamed itself "friends of Bill Hall".

-Bill Hall hit a ball so hard off the Coke Bottle at Pac Bell that it turned into Crystal Pepsi.

-The Cincinnati Reds didn't build the Great American Ballpark because they wanted a new stadium, they had to build it because Bill Hall got mad and destroyed Riverfront Stadium after striking out.

-Bill Hall was told he couldn't join myspace because the site will crash once someones "friends" total reaches 10 Billion.

-When Bill Hall misbehaves, the commisioners' office is suspended for 15 games.

-The Baseball Hall of Fame is changing it's name to "Bill Hall's Scrap Book", the Rock n Roll Hall of fame plans to follow suit in 2007.

[randybreuerfan]

The most popular baby names for 2005:

boys--Bill Hall.

girls--Bill Hall.

 

Bill Hall taught Dr. J to dunk. He taught Mark Spitz to swim. He taught chickens to lay eggs.

 

Bill Hall donated to Herbert Hoover a toenail he broke kicking Hitler's buttocks. Now the Colorado River stops somewhere in Nevada.

 

Bill Hall invented the internet.

 

A rabbi, a priest, and Bill Hall walk into a bar. You know the rest.

[Team Canada]

The suicide squeeze was invented to keep Bill Hall from throwing the runner out at home.

[Bikeage77]

The warning track wasn't coined to let outfielders know where they are, but so the wall can prepare for Bill Hall

 

The only reason there is an off season is because Bill Hall wanted others to regain confidence

[craigharmann]

Bill Hall does not need a vehicle...he transports himself.

 

The US wants to go to Mars...Bill Hall has already been there.

 

Bill Hall once was napping in the clubhouse during a game, was called up to pinch hit, and hit a game winning home run!

 

Bill Hall once made a spectacular catch in centerfield, runs in to second base, tags the guy at second out, then runs and tags the guy at first out. The players on base were in awe of Bill Hall.

[Fatter than Joey]

Awesome thread -- good job by all contributors. I love the photoshop work -- Someone (with way more skills than me) should build a page that takes the best "facts" and pictures and puts them all in one place. I am sure it would get noticed. This thread will generate a lot of chuckles in the future.

[Ralph Wiggum]

- I heard that Bill Hall was eating at a diner, and when some dude dropped a spoon Bill Hall taught the whole town how to turn a double play.

- In a 'fight-to-the-death' cagematch between Chuck Norris and Steven Segal, Bill Hall would prevail.

- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a BillHallarchy.

- Bill Hall does not get frostbite. Bill Hall bites frost.

- Bill Hall can slam a revolving door.

- Bill Hall doesn?t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

- When Bill Hall does a pushup, he isn?t lifting himself up, he?s pushing the Earth down.

- Bill Hall counted to infinity - twice.

- Bill Hall is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right arms.

- Bill Hall doesn't go shopping, shops go Bill Halling.

- When Bill Hall was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he hit the store so hard with his bat it became a Wendy's.

- When Bill Hall calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

- Bill Hall CAN believe it's not butter.

- When taking the SAT, write "Bill Hall" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

- Bill Hall has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 2003 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

- Nobody does it like Sara Lee. Except Bill Hall.

- Bill Hall played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

 

These are my favorites...

[RayKingsForemanGrill]

Bill Hall feels only pity for Mr. T

 

Bill Hall has made love to your wife - You still love Bill Hall

 

WMD in Iraq = Bill Hall's annual Iraqi Baseball Camp. This is George Bush's folly.

[MHgb]

Quote:

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These are my favorites...

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A good portion of those are Chuck Norris ones with Bill Hall's name in his place. The best, in my opinion, are the ones that relate to baseball. Then you know they're authentic (and true, of course).

[Ralph Wiggum]

Quote:

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A good portion of those are Chuck Norris ones with Bill Hall's name in his place. The best, in my opinion, are the ones that relate to baseball. Then you know they're authentic (and true, of course).

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Yeah, its too early in the morning for me to be original.

[RayKingsForemanGrill]

We're going to have to stop pretty soon... because things will start to go down hill...

 

(As I typed that, Bill Hall just slapped me and called me a worthless mother trucker and a liar. I now have the # 2 imprinted into the side of my forehead).

[Ralph Wiggum]

- Hitting with Bill Hall on MLB 2006 makes the X-Box implode.

- Bill Hall is the only man in history to turn an unassisted quadruple play.

- Bill Hall corks his bat with Kryptonyte to create an equal playing field.

- A cow's Nirvana is being made into a baseball that may be hit by Bill Hall's bat.

- For Geoff Jenkins' birthday, instead of bringing a stripper into the clubhouse, the rest of the team convinced Bill Hall to show Geoff his bicep.

- Bill Hall performed a Cardassian mind-meld on Javon Walker yesterday, convincing Walker to never speak ill of Brett Favre again, who is Bill Hall's son.

- John Holmes breaks in Bill Hall's jocks.

- Bill Hall once hit an inside-the-park home run after hitting a medicine ball with a wiffle bat.

- Rickey Henderson, breaking a streak of 25 years of referring to himself in the 3rd person, has begun calling himself "Bill Hall".

- Very few know that the Red Sox offered a clone of Ted Williams in a straight up trade for Bill Hall in February, but Doug Melvin flat out refused it. Theo Epstein attributed the trade denial to the ghost of Babe Ruth striking again, but there's no way that's true. Babe is too scared of Bill Hall to even appear in the same sentence as him.

- Bill Hall's contract has an incentive clause simply labeled "stud fees".

[MadisonBrewerBlue]

After Brewer pitcher Ben Sheets lands on the DL for the fourth time in less then two years, Bill Hall lays hands on Sheets and turns him into the Bionic man. Hall states " Sheets is good to go till the next millennium "

 

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b351/madisonbrewerblue/111111.jpg