Youth Sports

[nodakfan17]

I think your heart is in the right place and it's a good idea. Just don't be surprised or upset if he doesn't care even a little bit about tennis. Kids like to discover their own interests. And it's a long time between age 5 and high school. Too much of anything will lead to burnout.

He’ll choose his own path. I won’t push anything beyond local rec leagues (do those still exist?) so he can get exercise and socialize.

[stoutdude04]

I think your heart is in the right place and it's a good idea. Just don't be surprised or upset if he doesn't care even a little bit about tennis. Kids like to discover their own interests. And it's a long time between age 5 and high school. Too much of anything will lead to burnout.

He’ll choose his own path. I won’t push anything beyond local rec leagues (do those still exist?) so he can get exercise and socialize.

 

Like most things, kids like what they see and have around. I always have hockey and tennis on at home. No surprise, my daughter grabs one of her 3 hockey sticks and whacks a ball or grabs the hopper of tennis balls and throws them around and pokes at them with her tennis racquet.

 

Now with baseball on a bunch she has been setting up the whiffle ball tee and tries smacking the back with her bat(or stick). She just turned 2, so obviously there is nothing more than having those things around.

 

I'm hopeful my kids want to play sports and I'm going to give them every opportunity it to find something. I learned so much from sports that I hope they both do as well.

[stoutdude04]

Also, Nodak - if you are interested in getting your son into tennis send me a PM. You would be better off taking him yourself as opposed to paying for lessons(at this age). I could give you a few ideas. I've been giving private lessons for over 10 years and have been coaching at the high school level for slightly longer.

[Samurai Bucky]

I'm probably gonna come off like a curmudgeon here but to me, organized sports for any kid younger than 8 or 9 is kind of weird.

I think it depends on the context or the goal of the organized sports. In our community, there would be a tee ball league for young Kindergarten kids, and then sort of a coach pitch for 1st and 2nd graders (both boys and girls). There were limits as far as the number of runs, number of outs, etc. The parents would get together and have a great time and afterwards, all of the kids would get together from both teams, grab their snacks and juice boxes, and head over to the playground to hang out. It was also a place for middle schoolers and high schoolers to learn how to be umpires. It was more like a "safe or out" type of thing as opposed to balls and strikes.

 

That said, there were times where parents and coaches would make it into more than that. I have to be transparent -- I have been on both sides of the fence, unfortunately, but not nearly as stupid crazy as some parents or coaches. I think it depends on the sport (soccer is more intense, for example).

 

My advice for anybody running a league, coaching a league, or participating in a league with young kids is... make it fun. Your goal should be to make sure the kids come out loving the game and learn how to support your teammates. That doesn't mean that a kid shouldn't try to do their best because I believe they should. However, that really doesn't matter at that age. At some point, not everybody will get a trophy, but at that age, the foundation that is set will benefit them more in the long run than whether you win or lose.

[DHonks]

As a teacher and coach, there’s not a single study I’ve seen that says specializing is good. College coaches want safeties that played CF, point guards that played soccer or football, etc etc. every year I see very good high school athletes quitting their sports because they specialized too much, too soon. Remember youth and high school sports aren’t a career, but are about fun and teaching life lessons/skills. Once a kid gets to college, sports become a job.

[Hopper]

Once a kid gets to college, sports become a job.

 

Isn't that part of the problem?

Too many parents think their kids will be playing sports in college.

Getting scholarships, etc.

Very few do, which is part of the issue.

Too many parents have unrealistic expectations about their kid's ability and do not understand the odds of actually playing sports in college. (other than intramurals of course.)

[Samurai Bucky]

Once a kid gets to college, sports become a job.

 

Isn't that part of the problem?

Too many parents think their kids will be playing sports in college.

Getting scholarships, etc.

Very few do, which is part of the issue.

Too many parents have unrealistic expectations about their kid's ability and do not understand the odds of actually playing sports in college. (other than intramurals of course.)

There are many ways somebody can play sports in college possibly at a D3 or JUCO level. The catch is that at the lower levels, you do not get a scholarship. My oldest daughter got assistance playing for a D3 school, but not because the coach "found money," but because she scored a 32 on her ACT. There are many factors on whether or not a kid will receive aid. If you make too much money as a parent, that money won't necessarily show up for you.

 

I agree with the assessment, though, and that is how we posed it to our kids. If you earn a college scholarship, it will be a job. Would you rather "work at a job" doing something that you enjoy doing, or would you like like to work at McDonald's or some job like that? If there is a good work ethic as a foundation, it shouldn't be as difficult to transition if they do not earn a scholarship.

[Samurai Bucky]

As a teacher and coach, there’s not a single study I’ve seen that says specializing is good. College coaches want safeties that played CF, point guards that played soccer or football, etc etc. every year I see very good high school athletes quitting their sports because they specialized too much, too soon. Remember youth and high school sports aren’t a career, but are about fun and teaching life lessons/skills. Once a kid gets to college, sports become a job.

I 100% agree with you. Will the academy coach encourage the child who not only excels at that coach's sport (baseball for example) if he also is invited to a football camp for example? If it does not interfere with the academy coach's schedule, should it really matter?

 

When I was coaching girls softball (16U), we had schedule a tournament for ASA Class B state. We had some injuries that were causing us some issues, but we were going to be ok. The week before, one of the healthy girls comes up to me and says she can't make it because she has to go to mandatory cheer camp. I knew she was in cheer, but a "mandatory cheer camp..." during the state tournament? Only letting me know one week before... and we had injuries!!! Apples and oranges, I know.

[Fear The Chorizo]

When I was in middle school/high school, most of these academies/camps that were going on for various sports were mainly held during summer months outside of the school year and separated from various fall/winter/spring sports seasons. That enabled kids who were multisport athletes or interested in trying a bunch of different sports out to be able to develop and compete in multiple sports, plus get additional training/development during the summer in a sport (or sports) they wanted to pursue further.

 

Nowadays, there are often travel leagues/camps going on year round, and they constantly infringe on the traditional sports seasons - sometimes even the same league season their own sport is playing out at the high school level. I've got friends whose girls barely know which uniform they have to yank out of the dryer on their way out the door to either a high school volleyball match, select team basketball camp, or softball practice. I know for certain that if I were a teenager right now, there's no way I would have been running cross country in the fall, and I probably would have been hardpressed to play basketball long enough to finally develop once I got into highschool to play it at the varsity level at an all-conference level for a couple years. I was young for my age and was always lagging in physical development through middle school, riding the pine in some travel basketball leagues but still able to practice and play enough to get better. Baseball was always my #1 sport and it did take precedent in summers when deciding which other camps I would partake in, but it would have stunk to essentially need to give up on playing competitive basketball because I "wasn't good enough" in 7th grade.

 

I will say to me the biggest issue with this is in the team sports, not so much individual sports where the individual kids and parents have alot more control about practice/development/camps - the peer pressure and time/financial commitment aspects these team sport academies push onto families is out of hand, particularly at the middle school level, IMO.

[owbc]

From my experience teaching at the college level, I would be more concerned about your kids' ability to succeed academically at the college level than their ability to play sports at the college level. If you overmanage your kids' schedule in middle and high school you risk them showing up to college lacking self motivation and intellectual curiosity. College isn't a team sport, nobody is going to motivate you to show up to class or turn in your homework on time. Nobody's going to intervene. Repeating classes that you fail is quite expensive!

 

Also, as an intramural softball player, many of the people who did a lot of competitive sports are quite annoying to play with/against. I think some of them don't even know how to have fun playing sports...and the idea of not really caring if we win or lose is a completely foreign concept. It's unfortunate.

[nate82]

From my experience teaching at the college level, I would be more concerned about your kids' ability to succeed academically at the college level than their ability to play sports at the college level. If you overmanage your kids' schedule in middle and high school you risk them showing up to college lacking self motivation and intellectual curiosity. College isn't a team sport, nobody is going to motivate you to show up to class or turn in your homework on time. Nobody's going to intervene. Repeating classes that you fail is quite expensive!

 

I only got B's and C's in high school but got only A's and B's in college mostly just A's. I guess I did all of my partying in high school or just wasn't all that interested in the subjects during high school.

[TURBO]

From my experience teaching at the college level, I would be more concerned about your kids' ability to succeed academically at the college level than their ability to play sports at the college level. If you overmanage your kids' schedule in middle and high school you risk them showing up to college lacking self motivation and intellectual curiosity. College isn't a team sport, nobody is going to motivate you to show up to class or turn in your homework on time. Nobody's going to intervene. Repeating classes that you fail is quite expensive!

 

Also, as an intramural softball player, many of the people who did a lot of competitive sports are quite annoying to play with/against. I think some of them don't even know how to have fun playing sports...and the idea of not really caring if we win or lose is a completely foreign concept. It's unfortunate.

 

Ok, but being competitve is also a good thing in life too. Sports for some, teach the will to be competitive, which can drive you outside of sports as well.

 

I don't think it's fair to criticize people who are ultra-competitive because they like to win, or play their best, or be their best.

 

My guess is that competitive people think that people who don't care if they win or lose are annoying as well. In fact, I can say that for certain.

[Samurai Bucky]

From my experience teaching at the college level, I would be more concerned about your kids' ability to succeed academically at the college level than their ability to play sports at the college level. If you overmanage your kids' schedule in middle and high school you risk them showing up to college lacking self motivation and intellectual curiosity. College isn't a team sport, nobody is going to motivate you to show up to class or turn in your homework on time. Nobody's going to intervene. Repeating classes that you fail is quite expensive!

 

I only got B's and C's in high school but got only A's and B's in college mostly just A's. I guess I did all of my partying in high school or just wasn't all that interested in the subjects during high school.

 

[sarcasm]Are you saying high school academics do not really matter? [/sarcasm]

[owbc]

Ok, but being competitve is also a good thing in life too. Sports for some, teach the will to be competitive, which can drive you outside of sports as well.

 

I don't think it's fair to criticize people who are ultra-competitive because they like to win, or play their best, or be their best.

 

My guess is that competitive people think that people who don't care if they win or lose are annoying as well. In fact, I can say that for certain.

 

Yes, being competitive is important. What I'm asking is, what's the end goal? Where do you draw the line as a parent? There's no limit to how many different sports/leagues/camps/tournaments that you can enroll your kids in and most kids like playing sports more than doing school so they will certainly go along with it and have a good time. But where does that get you? In most cases the goal has something to do with college or scholarships but I'm not sure much consideration is going into what happens after the kids get to college (which is when I was seeing them).

 

Also I think in many cases the parents are the competitive ones and not the kids.

 

As for my softball league, if you're competitive to the point that it's not fun, then what's the point? The most fun I ever had in softball league was when our team of misfit grad students knocked out a super-competitive undergrad team from the playoffs. They were upset to the point of tears!!!

[MrTPlush]

Youth sports have turned into garbage for the most part. Kids are way too hard on themselves worried about if they are bad or good. If they don't deem themselves amazing they want to quit. Probably due to the endless side coaching by parents on how they can be better etc. I coached entry level t-ball and kids wanted to be so competitive, didn't understand it at all. Hard on kids that weren't good, wanted the best players to play all the time, made comments about how their dad said ___ wasn't good and shouldn't even play. You definitely can't play "just to have fun" and that starts at a pretty young age. Mind you this wasn't in some fancy Milwaukee suburb, this was rural Wisconsin where you are not expected to try and be a college athlete in the future.

 

I get it, I liked playing sports...but to call it 'having fun' just seems like a stretch in retrospect. I won't care if my kids decide to play sports competitively or not. All I care about is they want to learn enough to play in the backyard or in the driveway...where having fun is actually the priority and only requirement to playing.

 

There is still value in youth sports, but overall any time I experience it I just walk away a little disgusted.

 

Intramural sports in college were by far the most fun I ever had playing sports. Because the expectations were zero, your talent level was pretty meaningless, and afterwards the outcome wasn't life or death.

[Samurai Bucky]

So, when do "youth sports" stop becoming "youth sports?" Is it middle school? High School? After High School?

[Baldkin]

So, when do "youth sports" stop becoming "youth sports?" Is it middle school? High School? After High School?

 

About 2003 they stopped being youth sports and became "Serious business" for way too many of the parents involved.

[JackNicholson1974]

I will reiterate, it’s the type of parents that were the leaders of community leagues in the 80s that have turned it in to big business. Community leagues weren’t enough for that type of parent. They were lured in to academies, AAU teams, travel teams, etc. the flocked away from the communities, leaving many times a discarded unorganized husk of an organization dying for anyone who can coach.

 

My oldest is in high school now. It’s baseball season. I thought it would stop now. It hasn’t, I have parent friends of mine wanting to know about all of the off season hockey things we might be doing. I can’t tell if it’s relief, amazement or confusion when I say I haven’t considered anything like that, it’s baseball season and we don’t want to think about hockey right now.

[pacopete4]

I will reiterate, it’s the type of parents that were the leaders of community leagues in the 80s that have turned it in to big business. Community leagues weren’t enough for that type of parent. They were lured in to academies, AAU teams, travel teams, etc. the flocked away from the communities, leaving many times a discarded unorganized husk of an organization dying for anyone who can coach.

 

My oldest is in high school now. It’s baseball season. I thought it would stop now. It hasn’t, I have parent friends of mine wanting to know about all of the off season hockey things we might be doing. I can’t tell if it’s relief, amazement or confusion when I say I haven’t considered anything like that, it’s baseball season and we don’t want to think about hockey right now.

 

I'm the head hockey and head baseball coach here at my school. I feel your pain here. I grew up playing both sports and loved both (on top of playing football). But when it came to spring, it was time to put away the hockey gear and grab my glove and go. Now as a coach, no matter the mounting evidence about specialization, I fight parents/players who only have their son playing one thing, year-round. All I know is it is refreshing to hear of a parent that has their head in the right place when it comes to a situation like yours.

[nodakfan17]

Twist: Recall, I had hoped my young son would take to tennis. I was planning on enrolling him in lessons this Fall after he turned 5. Since I last posted in this thread, he’s become nuts about basketball. I think his interest has been fueled by a combination of the Bucks’ championship run and Space Jam (I showed him the 90s version, not the LeBron version). Even though I’m not a huge basketball guy, I’m happy to indulge him because, in my mind, basketball is infinitely better than Pokémon, digging for worms, or whatever else kids are into.

 

I found a ‘basketball fundamentals” class at the YMCA that begins in October. He’s pumped. We picked up his jersey yesterday and he wore it home. Anyways, I visited the website for our local high school’s youth basketball program to see if they offered some type of skills clinic and discovered that travel basketball begins in 2nd grade (face palm).

[Point Beer Is Best]

I've been away from this website for the most part for the past few years, largely fueled by the fact my oldest kids are involved in various sports, so it was funny to see this thread pop up.

 

My boys are 9 & 10, each playing "competitive" baseball since 7U. We are a community based program (they started playing in the recreational league at 4) but we also offer "tournament" teams for kids who want to try out for a more competitive experience. I've coached my oldest son's tourney team for the past 4 years as well as coaching their rec league teams. They definitely play other sports (football, one in wrestling one in basketball) but they stay "active" with their baseball training year round in our basement since that is their biggest passion. By "active" I mean tee work maybe 3 days a week, and then ramp up pitching in the late winter after we've totally shut down any throwing for 3-4 months. Our summers are completely consumed by baseball (my wife and I often have to divide & conquer since the boys will likely play in different towns each weekend), but so long as this is what they are passionate about and enjoy, then this is worth it.

[brewers4eric]

I've really enjoyed reading this thread as I share many of the thoughts and feelings that have been expressed. My daughter is 16 and my son is 14 so I'm a long time veteran of hauling them around to various activities.

 

My daughter quit softball during the first year they hit off the pitching machine. In her first plate appearance the machine faltered and she took a beaning. Softball is done but she plays high school golf and thrives in the music program. She might not be on the field but you might hear her sing the national anthem before a game.

 

My son has been playing travel baseball and club basketball since he was nine. I stepped in to help out with coaching whenever I sensed that kids weren't having fun. One of the veteran coaches told me early on that you don't pick a team based on the talent of the kids, you pick a team based on the behavior of their parents. I could fill up the thread with stories but I'll refrain at this point.

 

As a parent, I've loved watching my kids do their thing, whatever it may be at a given point in time. The only question I have now is "what am I going to do with myself when all of the games are over"?

[nodakfan17]

I told my soon-to-be 5-year-old that we could go watch a basketball game at the local high school this Winter and then maybe catch a track meet in the Spring (his mother and I both ran track). He turned to me and said ‘No, Dad. I’m a basketball player.’ And so it begins …

[Ron Robinsons Beard]

I told my soon-to-be 5-year-old that we could go watch a basketball game at the local high school this Winter and then maybe catch a track meet in the Spring (his mother and I both ran track). He turned to me and said ‘No, Dad. I’m a basketball player.’ And so it begins …

 

Tomorrow he'll be a golfer. The next day it'll be professional pool player. He's 4 LOL

[nodakfan17]

I told my soon-to-be 5-year-old that we could go watch a basketball game at the local high school this Winter and then maybe catch a track meet in the Spring (his mother and I both ran track). He turned to me and said ‘No, Dad. I’m a basketball player.’ And so it begins …

 

Tomorrow he'll be a golfer. The next day it'll be professional pool player. He's 4 LOL

I know … it’s funny to watch him go through these phases. Although, beginning in 1st Grade, I played a different sport every season at the YMCA (flag football, basketball, baseball, and soccer). It was fun. I liked the variety. His reaction to merely watching another sport (track) was amusing.