Youth Sports

[RobDeer 45]

I'm not even sure what I want to discuss exactly but I thought this might be a good resource for advice on navigating youth sports. I have three sons, the oldest is turning 8 this year. He's been playing multiple sports for 3 years or so. Soccer, baseball, golf, basketball. I've noticed things starting to pickup now with competitiveness. Prior I would say it was more about getting them interested and out playing. I also have my middle son, who just turned 5, starting up with baseball and probably soccer and basketball this year. I'm trying to walk the fine line of resisting the ultra competitiveness at such a young age and giving him the ability to play and get better at the sports he likes. He loves playing everything, and will be out side everyday playing one of the sports he likes (football too). Of the parents who went through this in more recent memory, what would your suggestions be? Any advice at all about youth sports would be great!

 

Background - I grew up playing football, basketball and baseball and was really in to sports. Times are different now and with being in a metro area vs medium sized town where I grew up, I don't know how much of my experience is relevant. I guess the Metro part is there is just always more and more that kids can get involved with as opposed to there being somewhat of a limit in small or medium sized towns, if that makes sense.

[Ron Robinsons Beard]

My oldest turns 12 in May, and he's played baseball and football since he was 5. Last fall he did cross country for the first time, and really enjoyed it. He's also going to do middle school track this spring (doubling up with baseball). The best suggestion I have is to not specialize in one one sport. I live in big hockey country in northern Wisconsin, and so many of the kids my son's age (and younger) play hockey year-round. Many more play soccer year-round. I never understood the concept of specializing, unless your goal is to burn your kid out on the sport by the time they reach middle school. Perhaps there are a few kids out there who truly love their chosen sport, but for the most part, there is likely a 99.99999% chance that your kid is not going pro in that sport, so let them diversify, and let them be a kid!

[homer]

The best suggestion I have is to not specialize in one one sport. I live in big hockey country in northern Wisconsin, and so many of the kids my son's age (and younger) play hockey year-round. Many more play soccer year-round. I never understood the concept of specializing, unless your goal is to burn your kid out on the sport by the time they reach middle school. Perhaps there are a few kids out there you truly love their chosen sport, but for the most part, there is likely a 99.99999% chance that your kid is not going pro in that sport, so let them diversify, and let them be a kid!

 

There is research to support this. Great book on the topic called Range by David Epstein:

 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M6QPRRG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

[owbc]

I can only speak about my personal experience, but I was terribly un-athletic as a preteen and was always the worst player on the team in little league, basketball, and soccer. Despite that, I generally look back on it as a fun experience to try different sports. I really wanted to be good at baseball but after batting .000 for an entire season it was time to hang up the cleats. I eventually figured out that I was more talented as a runner and had more success doing track in middle school...then I got fairly good at bowling in high school which is a sport better catered to the un-athletic types.

 

As a new dad I know things have gotten way more competitive since then and I will resist with all my power to enroll my daughter in overly competitive sports leagues. Especially the travel ones. I've seen how stressed out parents can get over having to drive their kids all over town on nights and weekends, or even spending weekends driving hours to cheap hotels in random suburbs so the kids can play in some stupid tournament. Who knows what the kid will find interest in, but certainly as a parent I'll be pushing for diversification of extracurricular activities.

 

I'm also happy for the recent college sports scandal + investigations that have shown non-revenue college sports to be a big scam. I think it will be easier to push back as a parent now than it was a few years ago.

[pacopete4]

Make sure they are having fun at that young of an age (any age for that matter), otherwise there is a chance they won't grow to love the game. I see it too often that by the time a player gets to high school that they are burnt out or they have had a terrible experience that shapes how they go about the game. When it's baseball season, play baseball and enjoy it. When summer ends, pick up and try another sport. Keep it fresh. Keep your kids as well-rounded of an athlete as you possibly can to open all/any door you can for them as they get older and start to focus on sports (or not). Don't get sucked into the travel teams if you can get around it. Most are nothing more than money-makers for someone. The same goes for camps. One here or there is a good way to get extra training or outside advice and you can pick up a lot from a camp. But the majority of the time, those experiences are nothing more than money-makers as well and don't give your player any more than your local HS coach can.

[FVBrewerFan]

My oldest turns 12 in May, and he's played baseball and football since he was 5. Last fall he did cross country for the first time, and really enjoyed it. He's also going to do middle school track this spring (doubling up with baseball). The best suggestion I have is to not specialize in one one sport. I live in big hockey country in northern Wisconsin, and so many of the kids my son's age (and younger) play hockey year-round. Many more play soccer year-round. I never understood the concept of specializing, unless your goal is to burn your kid out on the sport by the time they reach middle school. Perhaps there are a few kids out there you truly love their chosen sport, but for the most part, there is likely a 99.99999% chance that your kid is not going pro in that sport, so let them diversify, and let them be a kid!

 

Agree completely. I would say avoid the ultra-competitive leagues, even throughout HS. They demand year-round commitment, which robs them of other sports and activities. And, yes, there is a high probability they will burn out. None of this is an absolute, of course.

 

My daughter played competitive soccer as early as it was an option. She was burned out before her senior year of HS, didn't even want to play for her HS team. The other part of all this, I don't even want to try to calculate how much money we spent over the years on leagues, camps, training, and most of all travel.

[BrewersSuperCollector]

I have 2 girls, now 6th grade and 8th grade. I don't make them play and they know it. The caveat is that they aren't going to be laying on their beds watching Tic Tok videos either. They have to do something whether its athletics, band, video club, acting, whatever.

They have both played soccer up until 4th grade, and have played basketball from 3rd grade until their current ages. They both also golf. First off, golf is nice, because being an individual sport we can schedule it around all of their other activities.

 

I wanted them to play soccer as a young child just because I wanted for them to get out and run. Within a handful of years neither of my children didn't liked playing it and quit.

 

Now, basketball...Both my girls play games about 10 months out of the year, but they also do basketball activities the other 2 months. They play for their club team, AAU team, school team, and church teams. They love it, I don't say no, but I also don't force them to do it. My youngest is not great, but slightly above average. My oldest is usually one of the bottom on each team she plays on. I believe my oldest loves doing the drills, but not the game itself. She can shoot from anywhere and dominate the drills, but in a game she is invisible. When trying out she looks great, but its probably buyers remorse for the coach when the games start.

 

My girls also do cross country and track when it applies for school teams.

 

Get to know the schools schedule. Such as, starting in 6th grade girls can only do cross country. Track, volleyball, and basketball starts in 7th grade there.

[igor67]

My son graduated college a couple of years ago, and he tried a number of different sports never specializing and generally enjoyed his experience all the way through until he ended up on a team with a bad vibe. My daughter really enjoys volleyball but has other interests and is not super motivated to devote enough time just to volleyball to specialize. Short version up through middle school it is definitely a good call to let them try a lot of different things, and then give them a say once they get to high school. There were a lot of well adjusted girls on my daughters team over the last few years to get scholarships, but that was due more to their interests than their parents. So there is some room for both approaches as they get older, but at a minimum pre-puberty athleticism is not a terribly good predictor of much.

[JackNicholson1974]

I will keep my reply short. My boys play multiple sports. Be prepared to become disillusioned by youth sports. It isn’t what it was in the 80s and 90s when I grew up. All of those dads or moms who were coaches and really involved in your little league are no longer involved, because their passion now translates as driving their kid 45 minutes each way for practice to play on some sort of select (I.e. more expensive to play) team. Leaves a huge void in local team community sports. Many leagues have fallen apart.

 

Despite all of that, and my boys being very talented (talented as in they will peak as very good varsity high school players and that’s it) I have tried to stick it out and remain local...as I grew up that way and I don’t want my kids to spend their youth traveling all over the Midwest.

[JimH5]

There are lots of pitfalls in the organized youth sports business.

 

I would be wary of club sports that require a lot of travel or special tournament fees or clinics that are mostly about exploiting parents who are worried that their kids are falling behind.

 

At age 8, no kid is falling behind. So many kids burn out when sports are competitive and focused on improvement. They are supposed to be fun games with friends, but way too many leagues focus on wins and losses. Find out what's important to the coach.

 

I would also make sure that your kid (and you) aren't required to do more fundraising that you're comfortable with. Sometimes young ones are there mostly to raise money for the club, without much playing time. That's not just a sports thing. I've seen it happen in ballet and a robotics team, too.

 

Youth sports also have more than their share of cases where a league or club treasurer is found to have been embezzling money for their own use. Make sure the treasurer has others auditing their work.

 

I'm against any sports that regularly expose kids to brain trauma. Tackle football, checking hockey, combat sports, boxing, rodeo...there is enough evidence for me to say they're too dangerous for kids.

 

I guess the biggest question is...what do you hope they get out of it? playing on a high school team? learning about teamwork? having fun and making friends? becoming a sports fan?

[TURBO]

 

I'm against any sports that regularly expose kids to brain trauma. Tackle football, checking hockey, combat sports, boxing, rodeo...there is enough evidence for me to say they're too dangerous for kids.

 

 

Add soccer to that list. At one time pretty recently, soccer was like #2 or #3 for concussions in High School sports due to "heading" the ball... Not just heading the ball, but knocking heads with opponents while trying to head the ball...

[RobDeer 45]

Lots of great stuff on here, thanks! It's always good hearing different people's perspectives. I'm completely in the camp of multiple sports and not specializing. Especially when your child gets enjoyment from several sports. I'm also trying to limit team sports to one at a time. That seems challenging potentially. Soccer is the big one. I never played myself and there is a spring and fall league. Fall has worked great in the past but he keeps asking me to play flag football. I'm totally fine with that but also want to keep soccer going as long as he's in to it. That's a great sport for kids to just get out and run around and get exercise.

[Fear The Chorizo]

If you go into youth sports realizing 95% of the select/travel teams exist as a business that essentially caters to parent egos saying their kid can be great in order to take their money under the guise of making their kid the next Yelich, LeBron, etc., its much easier to put the best interest of your kid 1st and pick what leagues/sports are best for them from both a development and an enjoyment perspective.

 

I'm firmly of the opinion that if a kid is talented enough at a particular sport or sports, there will be opportunities for them down the road no matter what summer league teams they play on when they are middle or even high schoolers. Im about to enter into this realm myself with kids approaching youth sports activities, and its insane how quickly various communities try to start feeder/select teams that are more about who you know or whats in your bank account than a child's ability.

[OldSchoolSnapper]

I'd say the travel teams are getting a bit of a bad rap in this thread. They're not all bad. My advice would be to get to know the program first, prior to getting involved. Talk to parents. Find people who had bad experiences and ask why that happened. If there's lot of in-fighting and parents fighting over titles, or parents petitioning to get coaches removed, run for the hills. But a lot of people have great experiences with travel teams and if your kid is very competitive and doesn't want to be on a team where half the kids are there just to have fun (which is 100% fine), then they may be happier in a travel/select league. Just do your research on what you're getting into and who you're getting involved with.

[pacopete4]

I don't mind travel teams at a certain age. I think travel teams have helped kill youth sports at a young age and that has a ripple effect of having low numbers in just about any sport. If you're 8, you don't need a travel team. Develop your skills. Most travel teams I've seen are game-based and not really designed to develop skills. Not all but most.

[Samurai Bucky]

I have three daughters (24, 22, 19) and a son (17). All three excelled in softball / baseball and all excelled in soccer. My wife and I were very good at sports in our high schools and in our free time we would always do something sports or outdoor related. So our family DNA was built around being active and competitive.

 

My oldest daughter was a pitcher and dominating people in the local muni league. At that point, we were directed to her playing in a select program. My other two daughters were in the same boat. All three excelled and all three got numerous letters to play college softball. My oldest pitched for one year at a D3 school, but opted out of it. Soccer ended up being cast out due to a lack of enjoyment. My son, still in high school, loves football but doesn't play all that much (is the field goal kicker, though). He is also a very good baseball player.

 

I bring this up because I think my wife and I were in the "they just need an opportunity and they will get a college scholarship" mode. As they reached high school, social aspects became very important and various injuries prevented each of them from moving on. Fortunately, or man focus over sports was academics. This has been a blessing.

 

My advice would be repeating what many people have already said:

 

Let kids be kids. If they love the game but are bored with the players they are playing with because they are afraid to throw the ball too hard, etc., look for something else.

 

Yes, it is a lot of money at times, but the memories built as a family going to these events (yes, it was tough with four children) will be brought up when they enter adulthood. It can also be a time for parents to meet other parents and get out of their bubble.

 

Some coaches (especially in academy sports) will poo-poo academics. My brother wrestled at a top 20, D1 school on scholarship and let it go because they wanted him to focus on wrestling, not on school. Now, he is a director at a hospital. If your child gets hurt, they can "fall back" on academics.

 

Sports should be a teaching tool about life. Teamwork, hard work, accepting victory and failure are all things that are a byproduct.

 

There will come times where they will want to walk away. I would like to say let them walk or force them to play. Use it as a teachable moment. Some of my daughters have told me, "If I only would have done X in softball..." meaning they regret not doing more. However, if my wife and I would have pushed them, it would have driven a wedge between us -- not worth it in my opinion.

 

I have many more stories, but I'll stop now. Love your kids for who they are even if they only hit .010

[Outlander]

I have a 10 year old that plays hockey and baseball in the Madison area. Has to travel around the state for both but for the most part within a hour or two, though with Dane County restrictions during the pandemic there was more travel this year with hockey especially. The key is to make sure they are having fun, don't want to burn them out. I like the way they do baseball where I live, you have to play in the regular league in order to play on the travel team. That way there is still community leagues with local coaches and players that don't have to be great. However, there is a more competitive environment for those that seek it and they get to experience them both.

[pacopete4]

I think the problem with seeking that competitive environment for a lot of families is that it is parent-driven and not driven because their kid is excelling in the sport or wants that more competitive environment.

[OldSchoolSnapper]

The concept of it having the best kids is kind of BS too depending on geography. The cost is an insurmountable barrier of entry to some kids and families. If you're really good, you'll still be really good in high school even if you never played for a club. If you're really, really good, a club will probably find you anyway and take care of the fees.

[BillScottCanRake]

I'm not even sure what I want to discuss exactly but I thought this might be a good resource for advice on navigating youth sports. I have three sons, the oldest is turning 8 this year. He's been playing multiple sports for 3 years or so. Soccer, baseball, golf, basketball. I've noticed things starting to pickup now with competitiveness. Prior I would say it was more about getting them interested and out playing. I also have my middle son, who just turned 5, starting up with baseball and probably soccer and basketball this year. I'm trying to walk the fine line of resisting the ultra competitiveness at such a young age and giving him the ability to play and get better at the sports he likes. He loves playing everything, and will be out side everyday playing one of the sports he likes (football too). Of the parents who went through this in more recent memory, what would your suggestions be? Any advice at all about youth sports would be great!

 

The best advice I can give is try to make the best decision you can for your family. Listen to your kids while keeping in mind they are kids and you may need to pull rank because you know better. And treat each of your children individually and help them on their own path. If the time comes to take next steps, try to seek out advice from those in your area who have made a similar journey. And don't be afraid to reverse course at anytime if that is the right thing for your child and family.

 

My daughter took up hockey at the age of 9. In her age 10 season, she played on a local association travel team, not because she was super competitive or wanted to make hockey her focus, but because it was the only option for her age group. Travel was usually less than 60 miles with occasional regional tournaments sprinkled in a couple of times a year plus the WAHA State Tournament. Sometime after her age 10 season, she started to get a bit more serious about hockey. Taking things more seriously initially meant going to goalie camps and some what I'd classify as "fun" summer leagues which were not ultra competitive. Attending one or two camps per year and playing an extra 20 games over the summer wasn't strenuous, it didn't prevent her from playing other sports or hanging with her friends or affect her grades. Her freshmen year of high school she tried out for and made the U14 Madison Capitols AAA team and the next year got a scholarship to attend a prep school. It wasn't until the summer prior to her freshmen year summer hockey was ultra competitive, and even then the main reason she played at that level was for the 10 days in Sweden.

 

All throughout her journey we tried to be consistent; hockey is only a part of your life and not your life. Keep your grades up, do what is expected of you at home, keep doing stuff with your friends, etc, and we can take this next step if that is what you want and we can handle it. Up until the time she had to give up hockey as a junior due to concussions, we never had to worry about any of those things. Even when hockey was getting extra attention, our daughter never stopped playing other sports. She loved softball and lacrosse, and I think playing the sports she did made her better at each of them.

 

My daughter's journey led her from learning to skate all they way to playing for and against nationally ranked hockey teams. Event tho I have a million hockey memories, easily the best thing she got from hockey is her husband. But throughout the journey, Jess was always Jess and hockey never defined who she was. While she had plenty of opportunities, they mostly just kinda came along and we took advantage of them.

 

My sons participation was completely different. His interest in playing sports and doing so ebbed and flowed and he spent a few years not playing any sport at all because he wasn't all that interested in it. In middle school he played a lot of baseball, but that was all. In HS he discovered he loved and was good at track, but he also played football for two years, ran cross country two more, and even wrestled one year. He took track seriously, but he didn't show much interest in doing things outside of normal practices and such. And to be honest I think the only reason he even went to some running camps might have been because a girl he knew was going to the same camp.

 

That doesn't change the fact I have just as many memories of his time in sports as my daughter. He pulled off the only unassisted triple play I have seen live. When I went to my first cross country meet I drove 2 hours to watch him run past me for total of about 5 seconds. And his conference meet 4x400 races as a junior was the talk of awards night his junior year. I still remember getting a text from him on his bus ride home after sectionals that his 4x800 team qualified for state as a senior. His journey was different but no less memorable.

 

Which brings me to my last piece of advice, which is to try as best you can to just let things happen. Your kids journey will be totally different from each other and from my daughter and son, but if it happens naturally it will doubtless be one that you'll talk about for years after because it was fun. And enjoy it like crazy, because it will be over sooner than you think.

[BrewersSuperCollector]

My daughter had a AAU game tonight in Germantown. Its a huge event using both Germantown and Homestead schools for my daughters bracket plus a couple more schools for other brackets. It's a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday event and she will play 4 games. I just about fell over as they were charging $55 for a weekend pass for spectators. There are also many teams from Illinois in this event and with my daughters game ended at 9:30 I'm sure many of the Illinois parents are also getting 2 nights of hotels.

[nodakfan17]

This is a very timely thread. My son is 4 and, were it not for the pandemic, would probably have started youth sports this year. Instead, we’ll hold off until next Spring when he’s 5.

 

Growing up, I played football, basketball, and baseball in my town’s rec leagues. These basically involved one mid-week practice and a Saturday morning game. It was great. I attended a large suburban high school and opted to specialize in track because it was the most realistic path to making a varsity squad (aside from football where there were no cuts). There were 250 boys in my class and only about 10 boys per class made the baseball and soccer teams. It was only about 6 per class for basketball. I enjoyed track. I finally made varsity as a junior and we won a lot of meets that year, including our conference.

 

My son will attend a large suburban high school and I worry about investing a lot of time in a sport where he’s unlikely to make the team in high school. Instead, I hope to enroll him in tennis lessons. It’s a sport we can play together for enjoyment and one that he’ll be able to play his entire life, even if he doesn’t make his high school squad.

[JimH5]

This is a very timely thread. My son is 4 and, were it not for the pandemic, would probably have started youth sports this year. Instead, we’ll hold off until next Spring when he’s 5.

 

Growing up, I played football, basketball, and baseball in my town’s rec leagues. These basically involved one mid-week practice and a Saturday morning game. It was great. I attended a large suburban high school and opted to specialize in track because it was the most realistic path to making a varsity squad (aside from football where there were no cuts). There were 250 boys in my class and only about 10 boys per class made the baseball and soccer teams. It was only about 6 per class for basketball. I enjoyed track. I finally made varsity as a junior and we won a lot of meets that year, including our conference.

 

My son will attend a large suburban high school and I worry about investing a lot of time in a sport where he’s unlikely to make the team in high school. Instead, I hope to enroll him in tennis lessons. It’s a sport we can play together for enjoyment and one that he’ll be able to play his entire life, even if he doesn’t make his high school squad.

 

I think your heart is in the right place and it's a good idea. Just don't be surprised or upset if he doesn't care even a little bit about tennis. Kids like to discover their own interests. And it's a long time between age 5 and high school. Too much of anything will lead to burnout.

[homer]

I'm probably gonna come off like a curmudgeon here but to me, organized sports for any kid younger than 8 or 9 is kind of weird.

[Fear The Chorizo]

I'm probably gonna come off like a curmudgeon here but to me, organized sports for any kid younger than 8 or 9 is kind of weird.

 

Amen....I don't mind the community education programs that introduce various sports to younger kids and also help build that foundation of playing with peers, but the other week my brother in law asked me if I had found an indoor batting cage facility for my boys to practice hitting over the winter so they had a good chance at making teams for next year. My response was - "they are 6 and 4."