What's bugging you? 2021

[AKCheesehead]

I'm in a Tuesday night golf league. More and more of the other 2 man teams that my partner and I golf against are playing music as we golf. Drives me nuts. If I ask if they would mind not playing the music then I look like the jerk. Its like if someone offered you a sandwich and you turned it down because you were not hungry or did not like the type of sandwich they were offering, but they insisted that you eat it and started physically forcing it down your throat. Except in this case, they don't even "offer" the music, they just immediately force it into your ears and appear offended if you ask them to turn it off.

 

Reading your post pissed me off. What the hell is the matter with people? Not every aspect of one's life should require a personal soundtrack. Do they blast music while out fishing on a quiet lake as well?

 

As for the bolded part, I don't think you'd look like a jerk for asking them to turn it off, that's being pretty darn polite. I don't even think you'd be a jerk for saying turn that crap off right now.

[TURBO]

That reminds me of all the people we see biking and hiking with music blaring outof their phones.

 

We were recently in Glacier Park (Montana), one of the most beautiful places on earth and it happened several times.

 

People out hiking in the mountains with music to accompany them and anyone else they run into. It disgusted me.

 

Being in a setting like that, with some autotune hip hop nonsense in the background just isn't right for so many reasons.

 

It's beyond annoying, it's just freaking rude.

[Patrick425]

I'm in a Tuesday night golf league. More and more of the other 2 man teams that my partner and I golf against are playing music as we golf. Drives me nuts. If I ask if they would mind not playing the music then I look like the jerk. Its like if someone offered you a sandwich and you turned it down because you were not hungry or did not like the type of sandwich they were offering, but they insisted that you eat it and started physically forcing it down your throat. Except in this case, they don't even "offer" the music, they just immediately force it into your ears and appear offended if you ask them to turn it off.

 

Reading your post pissed me off. What the hell is the matter with people? Not every aspect of one's life should require a personal soundtrack. Do they blast music while out fishing on a quiet lake as well?

 

As for the bolded part, I don't think you'd look like a jerk for asking them to turn it off, that's being pretty darn polite. I don't even think you'd be a jerk for saying turn that crap off right now.

 

Unfortunately this has become a thing in golf over the last 5 years or so. They even advertise speakers made specifically for use on golf courses in golf magazines. I don't get it at all. A large part of the enjoyment of golf, for me anyways, is the serenity and nature. I have been golfing for over 40 years now and I have just noticed a general lack of awareness or courtesy for others within 4 somes as well as all others on the course (as noted bybjkrautk). Like having non-quiet conversations while others are hitting, parking carts or leaving bags in front of the green (instead of closer to the next tee), and low awareness of playing slow. All of these use to be widely accepted golf protocols that experienced golfers followed and passed along to inexperienced golfers. Not really the case anymore. I would say that its a generational thing, but not necessarily the case. Several of the guys that are playing music in our league are my age or even older.

[LouisEly]

That reminds me of all the people we see biking and hiking with music blaring outof their phones.

 

We were recently in Glacier Park (Montana), one of the most beautiful places on earth and it happened several times.

 

People out hiking in the mountains with music to accompany them and anyone else they run into. It disgusted me.

 

Being in a setting like that, with some autotune hip hop nonsense in the background just isn't right for so many reasons.

 

It's beyond annoying, it's just freaking rude.

Well, they do say to make noise so that you don't sneak up on and startle a bear.

[GAME05]

I'm getting more and more tired of working so many nights and weekends because it means I can't do any extra-curricular stuff like church and sports leagues on any regular basis.

 

What is your priority? Rarely does someone at the end of their life wish they had worked more.

 

 

I'm leaning heavily toward joining a private golf club largely for the hopeful social connections, even though $250/mo ain't cheap for me. But it's somewhere I could go on whatever day I have off, even if it's just to hang out.

 

Ultimately I'm probably stuck at my job. I pay $100/mo rent through work, and adding that benefit into my pay, I won't be finding a similar salary to make up for that elsewhere.

[jerichoholicninja]

I'm in a Tuesday night golf league. More and more of the other 2 man teams that my partner and I golf against are playing music as we golf. Drives me nuts. If I ask if they would mind not playing the music then I look like the jerk. Its like if someone offered you a sandwich and you turned it down because you were not hungry or did not like the type of sandwich they were offering, but they insisted that you eat it and started physically forcing it down your throat. Except in this case, they don't even "offer" the music, they just immediately force it into your ears and appear offended if you ask them to turn it off.

 

Reading your post pissed me off. What the hell is the matter with people? Not every aspect of one's life should require a personal soundtrack. Do they blast music while out fishing on a quiet lake as well?

 

As for the bolded part, I don't think you'd look like a jerk for asking them to turn it off, that's being pretty darn polite. I don't even think you'd be a jerk for saying turn that crap off right now.

 

Unfortunately this has become a thing in golf over the last 5 years or so. They even advertise speakers made specifically for use on golf courses in golf magazines. I don't get it at all. A large part of the enjoyment of golf, for me anyways, is the serenity and nature. I have been golfing for over 40 years now and I have just noticed a general lack of awareness or courtesy for others within 4 somes as well as all others on the course (as noted bybjkrautk). Like having non-quiet conversations while others are hitting, parking carts or leaving bags in front of the green (instead of closer to the next tee), and low awareness of playing slow. All of these use to be widely accepted golf protocols that experienced golfers followed and passed along to inexperienced golfers. Not really the case anymore. I would say that its a generational thing, but not necessarily the case. Several of the guys that are playing music in our league are my age or even older.

 

Blame Rodney Dangerfield. He started it.

[Zad Fnark]

I lost my father about 2-1/2 months ago.

 

He had an aneurysm in his aorta down near his stomach which decided to blow up. Didn't know he had that condition. He actually made it to the hospital (parents live 1 block away), but the after effects and the bleeding afterwards caught up with him. He was 80.

 

My mother happens to have 2 aneurysms in her aorta which were found. One near the heart and the other in the stomach. She's having the first surgery on Thursday. Apparently a 90% chance of surviving which isn't comforting. She's 73. This is the "easy" one for the one near the heart. The 2nd surgery will be harder and she'll be cut open from top to bottom for that one. 85% chance of living through that one.

 

Going to Froedtert in Milwaukee for this. Thedacare apparently can't handle these operations.

 

Really worried about her as I don't want to lose both parents within a 3 month span.

[PeaveyFury]

Sorry to hear that. My Grandfather had a stomach aneurysm rupture like that about 15 years ago now, and he managed to survive it somehow.

 

Hoping your mother's procedures both go well.

[Zad Fnark]

Thanks.

 

Was reluctant to bring this up here as it's supposed to be a "fun" board.

 

Don't have a lot of friends in the immediate area.

[Thurston Fluff]

People who drive with a dog in their lap.

[LouisEly]

I lost my father about 2-1/2 months ago.

 

He had an aneurysm in his aorta down near his stomach which decided to blow up. Didn't know he had that condition. He actually made it to the hospital (parents live 1 block away), but the after effects and the bleeding afterwards caught up with him. He was 80.

 

My mother happens to have 2 aneurysms in her aorta which were found. One near the heart and the other in the stomach. She's having the first surgery on Thursday. Apparently a 90% chance of surviving which isn't comforting. She's 73. This is the "easy" one for the one near the heart. The 2nd surgery will be harder and she'll be cut open from top to bottom for that one. 85% chance of living through that one.

 

Going to Froedtert in Milwaukee for this. Thedacare apparently can't handle these operations.

 

Really worried about her as I don't want to lose both parents within a 3 month span.

Having a close family member who used to work for Thedacare, the impression I got is that you are much better off going to Froedert.

 

Best wishes. Know that she has a much better chance of surviving longer than not having the surgery, and that you're doing the right thing.

[Zad Fnark]

Thanks,

 

Yeah, they said she has a 20% chance per year of it blowing at some point. That probably guarantees an incident within 5 years.

 

I actually used to work at Thedacare IT. Worst mistake in my life when I left.

[CheezWizHed]

Thanks.

 

Was reluctant to bring this up here as it's supposed to be a "fun" board.

 

Don't have a lot of friends in the immediate area.

 

We have fun topics mostly, but often delve into tougher topics often too. And to say anonymous posters online are friends might be a stretch, we do hang out, listen, and ok at advice. Sometimes just telling someone is what you needed to do.

 

Hope everything goes well with her recovery!

[CheezWizHed]

Thanks.

 

Was reluctant to bring this up here as it's supposed to be a "fun" board.

 

Don't have a lot of friends in the immediate area.

 

We have fun topics mostly, but often delve into tougher topics often too. And to say anonymous posters online are friends might be a stretch, we do hang out, listen, and ok at advice. Sometimes just telling someone is what you needed to do.

 

Hope everything goes well with her recovery!

[CheezWizHed]

I'm getting more and more tired of working so many nights and weekends because it means I can't do any extra-curricular stuff like church and sports leagues on any regular basis.

 

What is your priority? Rarely does someone at the end of their life wish they had worked more.

 

 

I'm leaning heavily toward joining a private golf club largely for the hopeful social connections, even though $250/mo ain't cheap for me. But it's somewhere I could go on whatever day I have off, even if it's just to hang out.

 

Ultimately I'm probably stuck at my job. I pay $100/mo rent through work, and adding that benefit into my pay, I won't be finding a similar salary to make up for that elsewhere.

 

You might not be able to make a drastic change, so look out a few years. What do you want your life to look like in 5 years? Or 10 years? Identify the changes required on how to get there and look how you can get there incrementally:

- If your second job is more the goal than the first job, what would it take to make your second job your only job? Open your own "home" kitchen (I forgot what you called this) and rent out to other vendors?

- If your second job is only for extra income, are there other ways to make up that income? Or is that income really necessary? Could you reduce expenses instead?

- If first and second jobs are important, are there other ways to meet your personal time activity (softball, church) needs that don't conflict with those jobs?

 

Small changes are often easier to manage than big ones.

[Baldkin]

I lost my father about 2-1/2 months ago.

 

He had an aneurysm in his aorta down near his stomach which decided to blow up. Didn't know he had that condition. He actually made it to the hospital (parents live 1 block away), but the after effects and the bleeding afterwards caught up with him. He was 80.

 

My mother happens to have 2 aneurysms in her aorta which were found. One near the heart and the other in the stomach. She's having the first surgery on Thursday. Apparently a 90% chance of surviving which isn't comforting. She's 73. This is the "easy" one for the one near the heart. The 2nd surgery will be harder and she'll be cut open from top to bottom for that one. 85% chance of living through that one.

 

Going to Froedtert in Milwaukee for this. Thedacare apparently can't handle these operations.

 

Really worried about her as I don't want to lose both parents within a 3 month span.

 

Best Wishes to you and your mom. I hope you're doing something to take care of yourself & your mental health.

 

Trust and listen to the doctors and nurses, and don't be afraid to ask questions.

[Zad Fnark]

Thanks, guys.

 

As bad as 2020 was, this year was worse. Dealt with Covid in Feb and then my Dad passing end of April. Don't want to lose both parents in 3 months.

 

Wife will be out of town picking up her mom in Superior (a long bad story in itself...) so I'll be on my own.

 

I'll be caring for Mom's 6 week old kitten. Dad wouldn't let her have one, but since he's gone, she went and did it.

[GAME05]

CheezWiz, I gave some thought to your first post and I think it's not specifically the activities of tennis and church that I miss so much as it is that sense of belonging and community and being a regular part of something. And being single just exacerbates those feelings. So to that end I have a membership interview with a private golf club today. I think it might be a happy medium where I can still show up at irregular times even if it's just to hang out for an hour but still maybe get to know some people socially.

 

We're all praying for you, Zad.

[JimH5]

CheezWiz, I gave some thought to your first post and I think it's not specifically the activities of tennis and church that I miss so much as it is that sense of belonging and community and being a regular part of something. And being single just exacerbates those feelings. So to that end I have a membership interview with a private golf club today. I think it might be a happy medium where I can still show up at irregular times even if it's just to hang out for an hour but still maybe get to know some people socially.

 

We're all praying for you, Zad.

 

I have noticed a number of news and opinion writers drawing attention to the problem of men in our society not having social connections. It leads to poor health outcomes, despair, drug and alcohol abuse, etc.

 

So you're right to seek out social connections. We all are, really. This past year, when many of us were even more isolated, it made life that much more difficult.

 

A generation or more ago, there were social and service clubs, community softball teams, bowling leagues, etc. Church attendance was higher, etc. We do better when we are in groups.

[LouisEly]

CheezWiz, I gave some thought to your first post and I think it's not specifically the activities of tennis and church that I miss so much as it is that sense of belonging and community and being a regular part of something. And being single just exacerbates those feelings. So to that end I have a membership interview with a private golf club today. I think it might be a happy medium where I can still show up at irregular times even if it's just to hang out for an hour but still maybe get to know some people socially.

 

We're all praying for you, Zad.

Not sure if they have these where you are, but a friend of mine in Austin is a member of a men's group. I think it might be affiliated with a church but not sure.

[stoutdude04]

CheezWiz, I gave some thought to your first post and I think it's not specifically the activities of tennis and church that I miss so much as it is that sense of belonging and community and being a regular part of something. And being single just exacerbates those feelings. So to that end I have a membership interview with a private golf club today. I think it might be a happy medium where I can still show up at irregular times even if it's just to hang out for an hour but still maybe get to know some people socially.

 

We're all praying for you, Zad.

 

I have noticed a number of news and opinion writers drawing attention to the problem of men in our society not having social connections. It leads to poor health outcomes, despair, drug and alcohol abuse, etc.

 

So you're right to seek out social connections. We all are, really. This past year, when many of us were even more isolated, it made life that much more difficult.

 

A generation or more ago, there were social and service clubs, community softball teams, bowling leagues, etc. Church attendance was higher, etc. We do better when we are in groups.

 

This is interesting. I always tell my wife that I need guy time and when I talk with friends they mention similar thoughts. I probably overdo it with hockey, softball, and darts, but it does get depressing during the months I have nothing going on.

[Zad Fnark]

CheezWiz, I gave some thought to your first post and I think it's not specifically the activities of tennis and church that I miss so much as it is that sense of belonging and community and being a regular part of something. And being single just exacerbates those feelings. So to that end I have a membership interview with a private golf club today. I think it might be a happy medium where I can still show up at irregular times even if it's just to hang out for an hour but still maybe get to know some people socially.

 

We're all praying for you, Zad.

 

Thanks.

 

She got out of surgery yesterday afternoon. Apparently it went okay. I'm hoping they took the breathing tube out by now.

 

As of late yesterday, her kidneys haven't started working again and they've got her on continuous dialysis. The problem with these surgeries is that the blood supply to the entire body is cut off for some time. A bit worried about this. I know this happened with my dad before he passed.

[TURBO]

Prayers your way Zad...

[homer]

CheezWiz, I gave some thought to your first post and I think it's not specifically the activities of tennis and church that I miss so much as it is that sense of belonging and community and being a regular part of something. And being single just exacerbates those feelings. So to that end I have a membership interview with a private golf club today. I think it might be a happy medium where I can still show up at irregular times even if it's just to hang out for an hour but still maybe get to know some people socially.

 

We're all praying for you, Zad.

 

I have noticed a number of news and opinion writers drawing attention to the problem of men in our society not having social connections. It leads to poor health outcomes, despair, drug and alcohol abuse, etc.

 

So you're right to seek out social connections. We all are, really. This past year, when many of us were even more isolated, it made life that much more difficult.

 

A generation or more ago, there were social and service clubs, community softball teams, bowling leagues, etc. Church attendance was higher, etc. We do better when we are in groups.

 

I read a book a while back called Bowling Alone that focused on this very topic.

Drawing on vast new data that reveal Americans' changing behavior, Putnam shows how we have become increasingly disconnected from one another and how social structures -- whether they be PTA, church, or political parties -- have disintegrated. Until the publication of this groundbreaking work, no one had so deftly diagnosed the harm that these broken bonds have wreaked on our physical and civic health, nor had anyone exalted their fundamental power in creating a society that is happy, healthy, and safe.

 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003DYGOO6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

 

The book is now over 20 years old but still very relevant.

[TURBO]

the internet and online participation has put a chokehold on social activity imo...