Coping with death of parents

[LouisEly]

Adam,

 

My sincere condolences. Just a quick financial suggestion - if very little is owed on the house one option in which you might be able to get money but not give up the house is a reverse mortgage. Technically the bank owns the house but they make payments to you. This way you might be able to get some money but not have to deal with selling the house & moving. This could buy you some time to figure out if you really need to sell the house or can find another option. If you know where your father did his banking please go there ASAP and inquire about it. With a home equity loan you may not qualify because like any loan you have to pay it back and if you don't have income from a job they may not give it to you; you can't just take out money. The other option I recommend is selling anything that is replaceable (TV, furniture, car, etc., anything that doesn't have sentimental value). You can always replace it down the road. CarMax is an option for a quick vehicle sale.

 

You are going to be under a lot of pressure to make a lot of quick decisions. Like someone else said, try not to make quick emotional decisions. Always take a day or two if you can, write down the pluses and minuses on a sheet of paper like a ledger and then try to make the best choice. It will be tough, but you can do it.

[hawing]

Another thought: Your electricity and heat cannot be shut off during the winter (between November 1 and April 15) due to lack of payment. This is a statewide thing, despite the Madison references in this link: madison.com link

It doesn't mean you want to get behind on those bills if you can help it, because you could lose those services come April 15; but you should not have that particular rug pulled out from under you right now.

 

Good call, too, by LouisEly on the reverse mortgage vs. home equity loan. If you know where your father banked, you'd need to contact that/those institution(s) soon anyway.

[burnzy24]

Adam I am somewhat shocked that the funeral director is demanding his money right away given the situation. With my Dad's unexpected death 2 1/2 years ago the funeral director was very understanding given the circumstances and offered to come up with some sort of payment plan for my sister and I with a funeral bill that ran around $8,000. I don't know the funeral business all that well so maybe I am being naive, but this surely adds a ton of stress to an already stressful situation.

 

Have you had any luck finding any hint of a will?

[adamb100]

We asked the funeral director yesterday if we could pay within a month and they said they used to do that but have since stopped. I have not found a will but it would be pretty pointless would it not? I'll be the personal representative or executor either way since I'm the only child and he was never married.

[hawing]

Based on what you've told us, it's true that the will (if there is one) probably wouldn't shed light on who is the executor. However, it could alert you to assets you didn't know your father had, or at least serve as kind of a summary of what loose ends need to be tied up.

[Invader3K]

From what I understand, the funeral business has a big problem with people either not paying or paying extremely late. I know that doesn't help, but maybe this particular director just got shorted one too on many times.

 

Anyway, hope things work out.

[RobDeer 45]

Man this is a tough situation. Are there any family members/close friends that would be able or willing to help out in this situation? Again, keep your head up, stay positive, ask questions and don't be affraid to tell some of these people you are not able to make certain things happen right away. If you have time, you can.

[hawing]

From what I understand, the funeral business has a big problem with people either not paying or paying extremely late. I know that doesn't help, but maybe this particular director just got shorted one too on many times.

Surely this has become more commonplace since the economy took a nosedive.

 

I don't mean to be snoopy, but how's it going, Adam? How much you update us is completely up to you, of course, but I won't lie - I've been thinking about you and your situation this weekend.

[adamb100]

The funeral came and went. It was a good funeral. Seeing my dad in a casket was a bit disturbing I must admit. Glad we went with the funeral home we went with. I'm getting over the death but I do still seem to look at photos of my dad everyday.

 

We got around $900 from donations with a bit more coming in every so often or so. That'll definitely help. Beyond that not much has changed on the financial front.

 

Edit: Got the bill for the mortgage. I was wrong on the amount owed still. It's not $6,000. Its $4300. It would be scheduled to be payed off by August with $602 due ea. month.

[rwa12]

Talk to the bank/mortgage company and explain your situation. With such a small amount yet owed, see what they can do to help you. Are you eligible for any kind of state aid?

[adamb100]

I can get student loans to help offset utilities but that's about it. We already do get food stamps.

[Invader3K]

Maybe this isn't much for advice, but if I only owed $4300 on our mortgage, I would sell stuff or anything else to raise that money in a short period. Clearing up that mortgage will help you a lot. I'd try to avoid student loans if at all possible.

[bball123h]

Sorry to hear about your loss Adam...

 

One thing you may want to do is make a prioritized list on who gets paid with whatever income you can find each month. Something like:

 

1. Food

2. Shelter

3. Transportation

4. Utilities

5. ....

 

If you owe the funeral home anything, I'd put them off for now. Definitely pay them later, but you need to make sure you take care of yourself first. If you have anything of value you can sell, I'd do that too. A car worth more than $4-5k, anything laying around the house... whatever you can.

[adamb100]

A Realtor visited the house the other day just so I can get a better idea of what the house is worth (and not the bogus 80K the gov't says). She said in the current condition it would fetch about $20,000. I was shocked as I thought it could be in the low 30's originally. The price could probably go up to around $35,000 with improvements (that we have no $ to do of course).

[adamb100]

Got a notice that the county is going to start the foreclosure process for unpaid property taxes.

 

I spoke to a lawyer at UWM but he did not know anything about probate so I have to talk to a probate lawyer for a half hour still.

[LouisEly]

Would you mind if I asked how much is owed in taxes? PM me if you don't feel comfortable disclosing that publicly. I was able to get my rental property re-appraised for much lower than the government said, but you have to call the city. The reviews were conducted in January, so there may be time to get the tax bill lowered.

 

You're doing a great job so far. Remember, "this too shall pass". Might not be today, tomorrow, or the day after, but someday it will.

[adamb100]

Looks like $11,600 in property taxes.

[jjkoestler]

$11k in taxes on a property worth $20k?

[adamb100]

I guess they haven't been paid in 5 years.