Kim Jong Il bites the big raddish

[LouisEly]

Apparently Kim Jong Il has died. Who would have thought that Kim Jong Il, Muamar Gaddafi, and Osama Bin Laden would all croak in the same year. They say these things happen in threes...

 

As they say this time of year, "Peace on Earth". At least we're a lot closer to it than at the beginning of the year.

[JimH5]

Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez could make things happen in fives. . .

[berniebrewer4life]

Dibs on his massive DVD collection.

[jjkoestler]

An Extract from “The Official History of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea”

 

Comrade Kim Jong-il, General Secretary of the Workers Party of Korea, Supreme Commander of the Revolutionary armed forces and Captain of the Korean Adult Film Club was born atop of Baekdu Mountain at six o clock in the morning. His birth was heralded by the appearance of a quadruple rainbow, clap of thunder and the release of Bambi by Walt Disney.

 

Jong-il is the son of Kim il-Sung the founder and great leader of the Peoples Republic. His immortal exploits are covered fully in the previous chapter however he was the son of Kim Hy?ng-jik inventor of penicillin and gold. His father was Kim Bo-hyon whom Karl Marx stole the idea of Communism from in the 1840’s.

 

Kim Jong-il was a bright child and was able to walk by the age of three weeks, talk by eight weeks and had completed his first Manifesto on the future of the Korean People by the age of two years.

 

A keen sportsman Jong-il was Captain of all games at his school, where he was privately tutored. He was also captain of the chess, bridge, charades and biscuit club.

 

He was a consistent A grade student and would always be top of his class of one, despite the disappearance of over twenty of his tutors.

 

By the age of ten Kim Jung-il had invented many new items such as radial tyres, holograms and the microwave oven. Since then these inventions have been stolen from the people of Korea and cruelly claimed as inventions of lesser men.

 

In 1964 Kim Jung-il graduated from Kim il-sung University with a triple first in Political Economy and Media Studies.

 

It would have been very easy for the illustrious leader to then give his son token government job, however Jung-Il would never take something without first earning it. So it was that he joined the party, doing many great works for four years before his minor promotion to Deputy Director of Propaganda and Agitation. Here he would ensure the total happiness of the Korean people via informing them of the torture and murder that occurred to dissidents.

 

In Just four years Kim Jung-Il was promoted to Party secretary of organisation and propaganda and one year after that he was officially designated as his fathers (the great leader) successor. Proving that anyone within the party who is willing to work hard could become the leader of this Democratic Republic.

[GAME05]

i don't know how exactly it could be worse, although some experts have been thinking that the country has been sliding into a famine similar to the horrible one they had in the 90s.

 

wait, i take that back. Joon could finally be the one to decide to reunite the two Koreas. horrifying the number of deaths that would cause.

[theavrock]

[jazzytrav]

Dibs on his massive DVD collection.

Might be my new favorite post on this entire website.

 

 

[Baldkin]

http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/WTARC/2004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html

Pyongyang

media say Kim enjoys golf, having shot multiple holes-in-one during his

first try at the game. He reportedly aced five holes and finished 38

under par on the golf course. The "Dear Leader" routinely shoots three

or four holes-in-one per round, the government-controlled media

reported.

[burnzy24]

Dibs on his massive DVD collection.

I wonder if Team America is among that DVD collection.

[RockCoCougars]

http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/WTARC/2004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html

Pyongyang

media say Kim enjoys golf, having shot multiple holes-in-one during his

first try at the game. He reportedly aced five holes and finished 38

under par on the golf course. The "Dear Leader" routinely shoots three

or four holes-in-one per round, the government-controlled media

reported.

Didn't know that they had mini golf in N. Korea.

[davego]

My heart sobs with the agony of 10,000 martyred patriots of the People's revolution!!! Die Yankee!!!

[Point Beer Is Best]

Dibs on his massive DVD collection.

I wonder if Team America is among that DVD collection.

I wonder if Hans Blix will attend the funeral. He was always breaking his balls.

An Extract from “The Official History of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea”

Where did you find this? It's comedy cold.

[RyDogg66]

RIP the worlds greatest golfer.

[Patrick425]

RockCoCougars[/b]]

Baldkin[/b]]http://www.worldtribune.c...004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html href="http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/WTARC/2004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html" rel=nofollow target=_blank>httphttp://www.worldtribune.c...004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html href="http://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/WTARC/2004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html" rel=nofollow target=_blank>://www.worldtribune.com/worldtribune/WTARC/2004/ea_nkorea_06_16.html

Pyongyang media say Kim enjoys golf, having shot multiple holes-in-one during his first try at the game. He reportedly aced five holes and finished 38 under par on the golf course. The "Dear Leader" routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round, the government-controlled media reported.

Didn't know that they had mini golf in N. Korea.

Chuck Norris had nothing on this guy he also shot a 300 his first and only time bowling:

 

http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/daily-take/201112/memory-kim-jong-il-dear-leader-and-goat

 

Geez...if you are going to embellish your scores...at least make it something that's actually humanly possible.