What do you want/expect in a relish tray? (Updated for 2012, post #49)

[LouisEly]

Lil' Smokies... on mini-buns or bread... with relish and Beer 'n Brat mustard... MMMMMMMM.

 

Hawing, go invest in a power inverter and plug in a little cooker to keep them warm on your 2-hour drive.

[Invader3K]

Beer 'N Brat mustard? it's buy 2 get 1 free, ya know.

I hear Bob Uecker loves it!

[hawing]

Beer 'N Brat mustard? it's buy 2 get 1 free, ya know.

Oh, now, that sale was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Besides, one of the relatives at the Christmas Eve gathering works for Koops', so bringing Silver Spring might start a fight.

[cubfan1126]

Big question: At the the end of the day, do you take home what's left or leave it? If you take it home, then put stuff on there that you like.

 

My thought was think antipasto tray (black olives, kalamata olives, salami, mortadella, prociutto, rosted red peppers, asiago, provolone, pepperoncini) which will work if you have any Italian influence in the family. If you are of the southeastern Wisconsin predominence of German, then substitute the smokies and some other sausage, go with swiss and cheddar, and leave off the pepperoncini. The olives and red pepper will work either way.

[brewers4eric]

You might want to scrap the relish tray and do bacon wrapped smokies instead. Cut a package of sliced bacon into thirds and wrap each smokie with the bacon and secure with a toothpick. Place the smokies on a foil lined pan, sprinkle with brown sugar, cover with plastic wrap and let them cure overnight in the refrigerator. Bake at 300 degrees for approximately 45 minutes. The foil makes clean up easier, as you will be rendering off quite a bit of fat while they bake. A nice side effect is that your residence will smell like a smoke house. Transfer the smokies to a crock pot for your commute. I usually put a little sauce consisting of equal parts of grape jelly and a favorite barbeque sauce in the bottom of the crock pot. They will heat up pretty fast in the crock pot after the drive.

My coworkers usually ask for these whenever we do a potluck. At some point I would like to try and make a turducken (turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken). When I do, I'm going to stuff the chicken with bacon wrapped smokies.

[chuckiehacks]

Eric, I got the meat sweats just reading that.

[trwi7]

Watching the Simpsons right now where the kids are stuck at school with Skinner because of a snow storm and a scene just reminded me of this thread.

 

Groundskeeper Willie says "you all get an apple and a handful of relish."

 

Carry on. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

[Funketown]

^That's the episode with the ranch dressing hose, no? Man, I do feel a bit like comic book guy when it comes to The Simpsons.

 

Back on the meat wrapped in bacon idea, I'm planning on making chorizo stuffed dates wrapped in bacon this year. My wife and I had them at a gastro-pub in Colorado this year, and they were disturbingly good. I'm figuring I'll grab some good Medjool Dates at Whole Foods and replace the pit with some raw Mexican chorizo, wrap in a half slice of D & G's bacon and roast for 20 minutes at 400'F. If all goes well, I should probably call my cardiologist.

 

Thinking about it, I would be so much more happy with a good plate of cured meat and cheese than a relish tray. Cured meat, good cheese, and good olives would be a nice surprise.

[LouisEly]

Instead of chorizo, put honey-nut cream cheese and crushed almonds in the bacon-wrapped stuffed dates. And use maple bacon.

[hawing]

Back on the meat wrapped in bacon idea, I'm planning on making chorizo stuffed dates wrapped in bacon this year.

The December 24 print edition of the Wisconsin State Journal has a recipe for this very thing. I thought of this thread immediately.

 

To provide some relish tray closure...my S.O. stepped up the other night and called his sister-in-law to see what she expected. The result? Olives and pickles. So he got a selection of olives and pickles, as well as some tart cherries ("just to be different"). We'll put it together in a little bit and while I will not promise to change my avatar to the relish tray, I will aim to eventually post a photo of the results. I acknowledge that the end result is a little anticlimactic, compared to some of the fine and entertaining suggestions posted above. Thanks for the responses!

 

The S.O.'s family is fully Italian - there was a pretty awesome antipasto tray last year, awesome enough so the people who brought it last year might well have been asked to bring another one this year. I think it was from Tenuta's. I'm looking forward to supper tonight.

[trwi7]

So a relish tray is just pickles and olives? Why didn't they just say you're responsible for putting an assortment of pickles and olives on a tray?

[hawing]

So a relish tray is just pickles and olives? Why didn't they just say you're responsible for putting an assortment of pickles and olives on a tray?

Yeah, I kind of wish they had just said that. Though with clearer instructions we never would have had this great thread.

[GAME05]

downer. this is like finding out it was all a dream. you're gonna at least wrap the olives in bacon, right?http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

[trwi7]

^That's the episode with the ranch dressing hose, no? Man, I do feel a bit like comic book guy when it comes to The Simpsons.

Yeah, Flanders wakes up Homer and says "Homer, the car is filling with" then Homer interrupts and says "I know, ranch dressing."

 

Though my favorite part of the episode is this.

 

Flanders: I think we hit something.

 

Homer: I hope it's Flanders! Hahaha. I'm just kidding.

[Invader3K]

Well, I'd love to say that I had a similar experience to Hawing's relish tray encounter last night, but I did not.

 

After going to church, we came back to the in-laws' house and were greeted by quite a spread. There in the center sat the much anticipated relish tray. At first, I was pretty pleased. I must say this thread set my expectations pretty high. There were olives and two different kinds of pickles. However, upon further inspection, there was only ONE kind of pickle present on said relish tray! Well, needless to say, this was completely unacceptable. I flew into a violent rage and whipped the relish tray into the patio doors in disgust. I'm not quite sure what happened next, but amid the cacophony of barking dogs and screaming relatives, I blacked out.

 

I later on awoke face down in a snow bank, with an empty bottle of Korbel brandy next to me. Thanks for nothing, Brewerfan.net!

[GAME05]

Hawing has inadvertently made us relish-tray snobs.

[Baldkin]

Hawing has inadvertently made us relish-tray snobs.

I think Hawing has been moonlighting for the Society of People Organizing Relish Trays (SPORT) and this was her way of brain washing us into creating extravagant relish tray designs and revolutionary ideas.

 

http://www.citydeliva.com/ordereze/images/items/IMAGE21.JPG

[brewers4eric]

Due to this thread, the next time that I see a relish tray that contains only pickles and olives I'm going to push it to the side and say, "this is no good".

 

We had a secretary in our office that liked to experiment with recipes and bring the results into our office. She would go out of her way to plate things up and put them in front of us, always looking for favorable comments on how good things were. Inevitably, a coworker and I picked up on this. No matter how good something tasted, the two of us would simultaneously take one bite, put down our forks, push the plate aside and say in unison, "This is no good". She eventually got sick of our antics and took a job as a bank teller. I've heard that they have really good snacks in their break room.

[ilovebeer]

I like to have carrot sticks and devil eggs on my tray

[dadofandrew]

A client told me today that when their church has a potluck, they have to be called "angel eggs." Regardless, they sure are popular. Even the plain ones are really good.

[hawing]

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1382.snc4/163476_1742689292756_1404434242_1840915_8329138_n.jpg

Behold our interpretation of a relish tray. We discovered that the S.O.'s family is more of a dill pickle group than a sweet gherkin group, and at this holiday went for the green olives ahead of the black.

 

 

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs736.ash1/162955_1742688612739_1404434242_1840912_7942794_n.jpg

The antipasto tray that blew our pickles and olives out of the galaxy. Note how the people who supplied this tray totally undermined our efforts with the inclusion of olives. I'd much rather have this platter among our leftovers than the ordinary pickles and olives.

 

[trwi7]

I hate olives but those pickles look good.

[logan82]

Nice. Why didn't they just ask you to bring some pickles and make things simpler?

[hawing]

UPDATE FOR 2012:

 

We (finally) got our food assignments for Monday's dinner with the S.O.'s family and we are back on relish-tray duty. This time the description is "Relish tray - olives and pickles." But the same household which has been bringing the awesome Tenuta's antipasto platter the last few years is in charge of "hors d'oeuvres" - which probably means they'll bring another awesome platter that already has olives. So I'm thinking we can put whatever the hell we want in Relish Tray 2012.

 

This brought some much needed levity to my pre-snowpocalypse evening, and I could hardly wait to bring the news to you all.

[GAME05]

we gotta beat the Tenuta household this year, fellas!