2009 Cubs Predictions

[nsimps]

I know we're all excited about the upcoming Brewers season, but what about our lovely competitors to the South?

 

My predictions:

 

Lou Pinella - During one of the Cubs 40-game losing streaks, Sweet Lou chokes an umpire to death after a marginal call on the basepaths in an attempt to "motivate the team."

 

Carlos Zambrano - In the first filmed example of spontaneous combustion, Big Z's head explodes after a pitch 4 inches off the plate is mysteriously dubbed a ball.

 

Ryan Theriot - "The Riot" finally lives up to his named and is detained at a newly reopened Gitmo after starting the great Chicago Riot of '09.

 

Kosuke Fukudome - Fans start mispronouncing only the first part of Kosuke's last name, and laud the Japanese import by shouting it at him whenever he takes the field.

 

Milton Bradley - Simply goes bat-poopy insane.

 

Also, I believe Blago is going to end up the owner of the Cubs and arrange for campaign contributions for players to use such things as the dugouts and locker rooms.

[Marc Newfield of Dreams]

They will continue to have the most annoying fans this side of Boston.

[TuesdaysWithRillo]

ARam and Soriano will spend at least a combined 60 days on the DL.

[Brewtacular]

Disappointment.

[fondybrewfan]

Geovany Soto will not be as good as he was last year.

 

If they lose the division Lou Pinella will be canned.

 

It would be a miracle if they didn't win the division

[strawbossisevil]

Everyone thought that about the Detroit Tigers last year too. I'm hoping for a Tigeresque collapse by the Cubs this year, that would be awesome.

[BoKnowsBall]

Milton Bradley will get hurt

[thebruce44]

A 20 something will throwup their previously consumed $8 Goose Island Pints on Waveland Avenue at some point during the year. He will most likely be wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar popped and his brahs will have to carry him home. He will repeat this incident the following weekend weather the Cubs are in town or not.

[SoCal Brew Crew Fan]

Volatility.

 

I can't figure out if they truly are a 100+ win team or on the verge of an epic collapse. I'm going to go 60/40 on those chances. I just don't see it being as simple 95 wins and a 10 game cushion on the division.

[saxyman1004]

A 20 something will throwup their previously consumed $8 Goose Island Pints on Waveland Avenue at some point during the year. He will most likely be wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar popped and his brahs will have to carry him home. He will repeat this incident the following weekend weather the Cubs are in town or not.

Way to play the long odds there, pal. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/wink.gif

[owbc]

A number of our predictions will happen (down years for Harden and Zambrano, Fukudome still stinks, Bradley gets injured).

 

As a result, they win only about 92 games and take the division by 5 games instead of 10.

[nate82]

A number of our predictions will happen (down years for Harden and Zambrano, Fukudome still stinks, Bradley gets injured).

Bradley nearly injured himself in the game today against the Astros after rounding 1st base.

[craigharmann]

Rich Harden's arm will fall off.

[naivin]

They will sweep the Brewers this weekend.

[splitterpfj]

The Cubs will win the division, as the Reds take a step up, and the Brewers' pitching does just enough...which isn't enough.

 

Along the way, DL time will increase for this rapidly aging team...2009 is the end of the current window for this bunch...too many of them are reaching the wrong side of the clock - and they know it - which is why you see the front office grabbing obvious health risks in Harden and Bradley, in attempt to get it done.

 

2009 has a chance to be special on the north side....but a bloated, underperforming payroll is drawing near.

[Gobias Industries]

A number of our predictions will happen (down years for Harden and Zambrano, Fukudome still stinks, Bradley gets injured).

 

As a result, they win only about 92 games and take the division by 5 games instead of 10.

Zambrano looked really good yesterday. Velocity was up, and he's in way better shape than the last few years. I'd bet he'll have a monster year.

[craigharmann]

Oh yeah, They'll go 1-161. Book it!

[cubfan1126]

Kosuke Fukudome - Fans start mispronouncing only the first part of Kosuke's last name, and laud the Japanese import by shouting it at him whenever he takes the field.

Actually, you're a little late on this one. This started last July.

[1992casey]

This started last July.

 

I believe it started in the Brewerfan chat room on opening day. The mods had to make it stop. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

[BrewCrewForever]

A 20 something will throwup their previously consumed $8 Goose Island Pints on Waveland Avenue at some point during the year. He will most likely be wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar popped and his brahs will have to carry him home. He will repeat this incident the following weekend weather the Cubs are in town or not.

Don't forget he will be wearing khaki shorts while doing this. And if he is not wearing his pink polo for some reason, he will be wearing a jersey of a Cubs player no longer on the team like Garciaparra or Sosa. But yeah what you wrote was awesome.

 

I just want to see Bradley meltdown and throw bats and balls on the field again and hurt himself while doing it thus being out for the year.

[Invader3K]

What's the deal with the pink shirts anyway?

[thebruce44]

Its the whole metrosexual dbag movement. Some guys feel it helps them meet girl. Half the "fans" at a Cubs game are there specifically for that (I do have to admit there are a lot of hotties that go to the games but it seems like more of them are there to watch baseball than the guys) and they think that look will help them.

 

I live near Wrigleyville so I see this sort of thing all the time. I could go on a huge rant about the typical Cubs fan, but I will leave it at that for now.

[TooLiveBrew]

Wait, I think the preferred term is 'salmon', not 'pink' -- it's ever so slightly more masculine http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/wink.gif

 

As for the Cubs, I really am not convinced the gap in talent between the two teams is as big as the differential in most win projections. Given the wild card of player health, I'm not one that is ready to just accept that the Cubs will run away with the Central by 5 or more games.

 

Soriano, Bradley, Harden, Zambrano, and iirc even Fukudome are injury concerns, and there just isn't good depth behind them in case any of them miss significant time.

[Invader3K]

This Cubs fan on another message board I go to is all doom and gloom, even before the season started. He's predicting them to finish in third with about 75 wins or so. Feels there's just too many injury chances on that team for them to win this year.

[Crew2323]

This Cubs fan on another message board I go to is all doom and gloom, even before the season started. He's predicting them to finish in third with about 75 wins or so. Feels there's just too many injury chances on that team for them to win this year.

He sounds like the most sensible Cubs fan ever. I don't ever recall seeing a team being handed a division title by writers and prognosticators like I have the 2009 Cubs. I'm just baffled that these same people have completely written the Brewers off, as if they have no chance whatsoever.