Any advice for a soon to be dad of a girl?

[craigharmann]

OK, my little girl will be born anytime in the next week and a half. Any advice on how to raise her without completely screwing up? She should be a lefty, as both my wife and I are, so I'm leaning toward raising her to be the first female LOOGL(girl?) in the Majors. Any tips, things to do, things not to do? Thank you in advance!

[Fatter than Joey]

I have 2 daughters.

 

They are trying to kill me.

 

People are going to tell you, that you should love them and adore them etc... I opted for survival.

 

Here are some of my tips.

 

1.) Get a good paying job.

2.) Never buy clothes for her.

3.) Females have a difficult time maintaining a united front, use that to your advantage.

4.) Talk is cheap, gift cards are like health points.

5.) Have a son.

 

Best of luck, and congratulations!

[trwi7]

She should be a lefty, as both my wife and I are

Just to be clear, while there is a better chance that your daughter will be left handed, odds are that she'll still be right handed.

 

As for advice, I don't have a daughter or a sister, so I have no first hand experience living with kids or babies that are girls. So in that respect, I'm pretty much useless. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

[cubfan1126]

My 2 daughters are now 33 and 36 so I have been through the "war."

 

From birth through 5th grade, don't worry - everything will be perfect.

 

From 6th grade through high school - don't go near her, don't talk to her, don't even be seen with her.(It's OK she won't want to be seen with you either)

 

When she's in college, just listen, don't offer any advice.

 

After college life will be perfect again - and if you don't cry at her wedding, you are a big jerk!

[jwill535]

Make sure there isnt an economic down turn and you get laid off for a couple months and end being a stay at home dad for a couple months in the winter with a 2 yr old. I dont drink but I now understand why people do.

[John Brew]

I have a one year old and keep hearing what cubfan says. Just yesterday someone said to me, "cute kid, just wait til she turns 12."

[MadScientist]

From birth through 5th grade, don't worry - everything will be perfect.

Only if you are lucky. My daughter is several years from 5th grade, but I've long since determined that she will be a real firebrand. If she mellows out. A lot. As far as I've figured out, boys will respond to authority and discipline, but no such luck with girls.

 

Your best bet is to grill your wife about how she was as a child, and what if anything worked or might have worked on her. If she says that she was wild, nothing worked and she drove her mother mad, you have my sympathies.

 

Any of the ladies on BFN have suggestions for us poor dads?

[craigharmann]

After college life will be perfect again - and if you don't cry at her wedding, you are a big jerk!

That won't be a problem. I bawled at my own wedding. I don't think I could make it through hers without tears.

[craigharmann]

Your best bet is to grill your wife about how she was as a child, and what if anything worked or might have worked on her. If she says that she was wild, nothing worked and she drove her mother mad, you have my sympathies.

We've already talked about that. She was an alright child, not too wild. Until she discovered boys in middle school. Then she was very boy-crazy. So it seems I'm good for another 10-12 years then I'm totally screwed.

[CrewDood]

Congrats, Craig!

No sister or daughter here but you're hideaway (bathroom) will never be the same. Hopefully, you have two.http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/laugh.gif

 

Talk to you in the chatroom, again, if you find the time!

[JimH5]

I'm a stay-at-home dad with my soon-to-be 5 year-old daughter. It worked out better for her mom to return to work, as she had a higher income and even less patience than I do. So it's been me and my daughter together every day since she was 3 months old.

 

I'm fatter and grouchier than at any other point in my life.

 

My goal is to make it past the point where she's 14 years old, with a 38 year old boyfriend, and she stabs me in the neck with an ice pick while I'm sleeping. Anything beyond that, and I'll consider the whole thing a success.

 

Seriously, the only thing that I can offer is that more than getting your driver's license, more than graduating from high school or college, more than landing your first job or getting married, life changes when you become a parent. Fully and completely. You're never the same, which can be good or a drag, more likely both.

 

Some days will last forever, where you can't do anything for yourself. Reading through a newspaper column will take 2 hours because of all the interruptions.

Just as you start to get comfortable with one phase of their development, they'll be on to the next one. You are also now about to become the pack mule. Every baby need is suddenly your cargo. And then before you know it, the crib and high chair and stroller and bouncy seat and baby bath and changing table and all that stuff will be unnecessary.

 

There are poignant moments, too. When you get to be the fun dad and you can see that your kid is really proud to be with you. Or when you can make the tears stop.

 

Just do your best. And make sure that you and her mom are united as one. Make sure your daughter gets into a routine with plenty of sleep. Take a lot of pictures and learn that you're now the 3rd most important member of the family.

[Fatter than Joey]

Your best bet is to grill your wife about how she was as a child, and what if anything worked or might have worked on her.

 

As we have discussed previously, all women are clearly insane -- any historical recounts are likely exaggerated, fabricated, or flat out lies. It is good that you ask, but you shouldn't trust the information that you get.

 

Any of the ladies on BFN have suggestions for us poor dads?

 

Again, insanity precludes this as a reasonable course of action.

 

I've figured out, boys will respond to authority and discipline

 

Boys will respond to reason and hamburgers.

 

I'm fatter and grouchier than at any other point in my life.

 

No doubt -- I hear you there.

[timothyw80]

craigharmann wrote:Any tips, things to do, things not to do?

Buy a gun...

 

Seriously though as a fellow stay at home dad (during the day anyway.) I would say just spend as much time as possible with your daughter. Mine is only 8 months old but she is growing up way to fast. Everyday is an adventure...

[hawing]

Any of the ladies on BFN have suggestions for us poor dads?

I'm not a parent, but I've been a daughter since birth. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

Still, I'm afraid I cannot tell you much, because my father left when I was 13. So I tend to want to strongly advise parents to not abandon their families - but I'd like to think most adults don't have to be told that.

 

Good luck to all of you dads, though, new and veteran.

[Brewtacular]

Well, as someone that is about 6 months behind the poster...I am not so sure I want to find out. I've always been of the opinion that I did not want to know boy/girl until the birth but the wife does , the time to find out is fast approaching, and I'm likely to cave.

Now I kinda of feel like finding out would be like the excitement when you are about to find out a test grade that will be very decisive in your future goal of entering Super Awesome Happy Future Career or a toll booth collector. Futhermore, it seems like the test was full of T/F and I wanted to argue every answer.

[jwill535]

Never, I repeat never leave your 2 year old alone for a moment. If it becomes quiet then that is the time to panic because they are up to something. For example, I go to the bathroom for about 3-5 minutes downstairs. I come back up and am greeted at the top of the stairs by my daughter holding her fruit snacks asking me to open them. As I get closer I notice her face is all shiny. Turns out that she ran into her bedroom, grabbed the canister of Vicks that was in her drawer and proceeded to wipe the whole 4 OZ of Vicks on her face, in her hair(which goes to her lower back) all over the the tv stand and what was left ended up on the floor in front of the TV. Well into the bath she goes, and do you know how hard it is to clean a kid when the water beads off of her like a newley waxed car? That was a fun one to explain to the boss when she got home.

 

Around 2-3 starts the "daddy....daddy.....daddy...DADDY....DAAADDDDDYYYY" till you head wants to explode and you say "WHAT?!?" and you get the response of "I love you daddy" along with a hug. There are going to be times that you love them to death and cant imagine them not being around and there are other times you hope that they somehow lock themselves in a closet for an hour. Ebb and flow.

[Invader3K]

My advice would be to always wear a belt, and don't be afraid to use it.

 

 

 

 

Just kidding, I don't have any kids.

[trwi7]

My advice would be to always wear a belt, and don't be afraid to use it.

Funniest empty threat my dad would ever use. He would take his belt off and snap it, but never use it. He wasn't afraid to have us kneel on a broom stick though. I'd almost rather try the belt to see which one hurts less.

 

The belt would hurt more right away, but the pain would likely go away quicker. The broom stick was a slow torcher and boy would the knees feel it for at least a day after.

[bork]

I only have a boy, no girls, but I have one piece of advice. Get as much sleep as you can now, because you'll never sleep in again.

[And That]

As a father of a 10-month old girl, I can attest to what bork says - I am thrilled to get 6 hours of sleep and/or sleep until 7 am. It's really fun, though. I wouldn't trade being a father for anything in the world.

 

We actually encourage independent play time. I think it's important that kids learn to play and explore on their own. I guess I don't mind when we leave our daughter alone for 20 minutes in her room and find that she's taken out all the dirty clothes out of her basket and squeezed out the butt cream on them. Exploring things is good.

[logan82]

Yeah let your kids explore. It is fun to come home to your little one making toast in the living room in the middle of the night or cracking a dozen eggs into the blender. Although I am not sure why he had the soy sauce out for the toast. As long as they don't get hurt, it's all good. Just a mess to clean up.

[pretendastronaut]

We have twin boys who are 11 months old today. It's a total breeze. To bad you're not having a boy instead!

 

If twins have taught me anything, it's that most advice on your first child means nothing until you go through it honestly, as everyone does things different, and every child is different. I could sit here and list you a whole article of the difference between our boys. Sure there are a lot of similarities, but when they were more newborn, they even like to sleep different ways.

 

My best advice is to remain as patient as possible, and sometimes that's very hard, and I'm a very patient person, and even more, don't spend to much time worrying about what she "should be doing", but react to the clues that she's giving you. She can lead you more than you might realize.

 

Good luck man, it really is a spectacular experience.

[craigharmann]

Wowsers! Lots of responses! Thanks all! This is very helpful! I've considered a gun, not for myself, but a shotgun for down the road if a boy decides to think about taking her out on a date. I've enjoyed sleep. I've been learning already that naps are quite important. My wife hasn't slept well for about the last month, so I haven't. We also have a dog and a cat, so I will quickly go from being the 4th most important being in the house to 5th. I am very excited and nervous at the same time, but I am very much looking forward to this major life change. It's something I've known I always wanted to be, and it's something I've been praying for for a long time. As for the belt, I am a firm believer in belts. Not only to hold my pants up. That might be a difficult thing to do when the time comes, but I don't think I'll resort to what my mother did when I talked back to her. Soap. Tasted NASTY! Anyway, thank you very much for your advice, encouragement and thoughts.

 

Oh yeah, we do have 2 bathrooms. And a garage, so I think I'm set on that!

[jwill535]

Oh and pick the cartoons you want them to watch carefully. Not for content by any means, but because you are going to be watching that same show and seeing that character everyday for years. We restrict her to about an hour in the morning(Little Einstines, Mickey and then Imagination Movers{which isnt that bad}) and then her stories for an hour before bedtime(Dora da *sic Explorer and Diego). She is in love with Dora and has a ton of stuff. It actually is somewhat helpful since she knows how to count to 10 in spanish, knows her colors and how to say hello, goodbye, up, down, lets go etc in spanish.

[logan82]

Get TiVo or some other DVR. That way you can record shows they like and have them available when you want to do something like clean or cook or just relax for a bit. You are also not a slave to the TV schedule.