Commuting and/or Moving to/from the Milwaukee area....help!

[parkside21]

So, I don't usually air personal business on message boards, but I'd really appreciate opinions from fellow Wisconsonians.

 

The old lady and I have been dating for about seven months now, and have recently begun discussing future/marriage. We're both all for it, and have been thinking maybe engaged this summer, and married a year after. However, our dilemma is this. She lives in Mequon and works (teaches) in Grafton. I live in Appleton and work (teach) in Berlin (about 20 minutes west of Oshkosh, a straight shot on Hwy 91 from Hwy 41/45).

 

We're both very comfortable at our current positions and districts that we work in and don't really want to leave them. This means, to stay together, we're going to have to find something sort of in the middle. Personally, I love Appleton and the small town/big town feel that it has. I have lived here all my life (save for 4 years in Kenosha for school) and am comfortable here. I don't want to give up my hobbies here and family and non-family things that I enjoy in the area, but I'm starting to realize I guess I might have to if we want to stay together. She's lived in Mequon all her life (save for 4 years at UWEC) and is very close to her family and doesn't want to leave the north metro area, for the same reasons I don't want to leave Appleton. We are trying to compromise and find something in between Berlin and Milwaukee so that we can both keep our jobs, which seems to be our main concern. We are looking at places along Hwy 41/45 since this is my main route to get to work, places like West Bend, Jackson, Hartford, Slinger, etc…or do I just bite the bullet and move to a north milwaukee suburb as close to 41/45 as possible? Like Germantown or Menomonee Falls? I've already ruled out Lomira and Fond du lac, just because. I've always been more of a big city guy, so maybe I'd be better off just having a bit longer commute and living in the metro area, as opposed to living in a smaller town further north that would save on my commute, yet be too small and/or isolated for my tastes.

 

We're 26 and 27, with no kids to consider, and we're not quite financially stable enough to begin buying a house, so that's on hold for at least another three years or so, so we'd be looking at renting. Does anyone recommend or have anything to offer about the places I mentioned above? I know it would seem like a crazy long commute from Germantown to Berlin, about 70 miles one-way, an hour and ten minutes or so in good weather. But, the commute I currently have from Appleton is about 55 minutes one-way and 100 miles round trip every day, so I'm used to a long commute and don't really mind it anymore. Heck, my roommate in Kenosha commuted to Chicago every day for work and it often took him 90 minutes or so, though a lot of the time was stuck in traffic and not as many miles. Keep in mind though that because I teach, I only work 185 days a year so I wouldn't be commuting during holiday breaks and the summer, which would help. Plus, I don't have to be at work until 8ish and can leave around 3:30ish…so even if my commute was an hour fifteen, I could still leave in the morning at 7, get to work at 8:15ish, and leave around 3:45ish and still get home by 5.

 

Sorry for the book, but if anyone has any advice or information about the communities I mentioned above, we'd greatly appreciate it. Seriously.

 

Thank you!

 

Josh

[pitchleague]

I'm sure you have your reasons, but why did you say "no" to Fond du Lac? Seeing as I grew up there and it's tons bigger (i.e. more things to do there) from when I was a kid, I'm just curious.

 

Sorry to break it to you, but you'll really prove yourself to her if you are the one to make the sacrifices and let her stay right where she is. Heck, perhaps after this school year, you can see about getting a job in the Grafton school district for next year. She could even help you out with that, perhaps.

 

The other thing I would suggest, although this is to an extreme, would be have both of you move together someplace where neither of you have ties (i.e. Appleton and Mequon). You both make the same sacrifice and "go with the flow". However, this is something I could only really say you should do if you are absolutely 100% sure that this is THE woman of your life and she feels the same.

 

Regardless, good luck!

[RyDogg66]

I just got out of a similar situation. My wife and I live in Oshkosh and I commuted to Milwaukee everyday for work for about 2 years. She teaches at UW-O. I finally had enough of the commute and opened my own business here in Oshkosh (Law Office, if you need me http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/wink.gif) and I could not be happier. Highway 41 is a really easy drive, but last winter was brutal and I risked it many times making that trip in weather that I should not have been driving in. Then summer hits, and hello construction.

 

Having lived a similar experience, I would recommend living as close to one of your jobs (the one the two of you are most likely to keep long term) as you can. Nobody wins when you both have to commute 30-45 minutes everyday. Plus, there is something to be said about being a member of your local community and really getting to know your neighbors and the people who live in your town. When I was commuting to Milwaukee (80 miles, one way; 1 hour 20 mins) I left at 7:00 and got home at 7:00 and did not know a soul in town outside of my family.

 

Just looking at a map, the city that sticks out to me is West Bend. It is big enough to not seem like a small town, close to Milwaukee/Grafton/Mequon and near the intersection of 45/41. It is probably the same distance for her to get to work as it would be from Germantown, and keep in mind, Germantown is relatively small, only about 15k people. In West Bend she could take 45 south to 60 to work, and you take 33 to 41.

 

It is a really tough decision to make, you are better off not buying ANYTHING until you get a feel for commutes and such. Perhaps you could find a job teaching in the area and eliminate one commute all together.

[homer]

Hartford is actually a nice little city. A quick trip to Google Maps shows it's about 1 hour and 45 min to Berlin (from downtown - you could live on the north side and probably cut it down by 15 or 20 min) - and a straight shot on Hwy 60 to Grafton. If you are a golfer, Washington County GC is one of the best public courses in the state - and for county residents it's dirt cheap. Plus it's close enough to Milwaukee that you are only about 30 - 40 min from 'city stuff'. West Bend is also a decent option but a little further than Hartford.

[temke]

yikes. i agree with ry. if you split the difference, you are both still looking at a tough commute. and if you hit a snowstorm (which i swear happened during AM rush hour about 4 times last winter) it is way worse.

[parkside21]

Thanks for the advice so far guys, I really do appreciate it.

 

We are kind of leaning against a long commute for both of us, especially since she usually stays at school later than I do, even with an hour or hour-plus commute I'd still likely make it home before her. I work at an alternative high school, so our hours and the hours we are required to be at school are a little different. As to moving on to another district, I imagine this will be the case eventually for myself, but as of now, I really like my position and our school (I actually work for CESA #6, not a district persay), our numbers are low and although the kids can be challenging, I have a pretty good gig, so I'd like to stick with it at least for a few more years. As for why not Fondy, I don't know...maybe it's a nice town, but I've just always felt out of place when I'm there, same thing with Oshkosh, and I even went to school for 2 years at Oshkosh, but for some reaosn every time I drive through I just don't feel like I really enjoy the city. Can't put my finger on it, but I know it's something.

 

Rydogg, thanks for sharing your situation. Did you work in downtown Milwaukee? Or whereabouts? Just trying to estimate what your commute was from wherever you were at in Milwaukee to Oshkosh, considering I have to add on another 15-20 minutes to get to Berlin.

 

We are kind of concentrating our search on the West Bend, Hartford, Slinger and Germantown areas, so it was nice to hear a couple of those suggested. As for West Bend...I actually know a few people either from there originally or had lived there for a couple of years, and none of them seemed to have great things to say about the area, I don't know why, they just semeed glad to have left...I'm not really sure why? But it just seems anytime I bring up West Bend, people never seem to really recommend it. That said though, it does seem to be a good fit, distance wise. As for Hartford, I've heard it's very nice, but small...same with Slinger, though they are right on Hwy 41, which is nice. Germantown would be nice just because it's closer to Milwaukee, which would be nice for weekends and things to do, and would give me more of a living near Milwaukee "feel" which sounds nice, but it would add 10-15 minutes to my commute every day each way.

 

Not too worried about traffic/rush hour since I'd be heading north, away from Milwaukee in the mornings and that stretch of Hwy 41 between Germantown and Fondy/Oshkosh is really pretty isolated as far as cars go. The traffic between Appleton and Oshkosh seems much heavier on 41, it's the weather a handful of times during the winter that more concerns me.

 

Anyways, sorry again for the book, but I really do appreciate the advice, keep it coming if anyone else has something to share.