Marriage experiment: Separate Bedrooms

[ewizabeff]

My parents haven't slept together in about 18 years. Forever, Dad slept in the recliner, claiming it was better for his back. He finally started sleeping in a bed about 2 years ago. But they definitely maintain separate bedrooms and bathrooms. I'm all for it. They both snore like crazy people, and now that Dad has been diagnosed with sleep apnea he wears one of those darth vader masks to bed, which is really annoying. They sleep together on vacations. That's enough.

[logan82]

Because of the shift I work, my wife and I basically sleep in shifts. I get home from work and fall asleep on the couch until 6-7 then I go to bed and wake her up. I don't know if I could sleep in the same room with my wife because she snores and I am a very light sleeper. The only problem I have with this is if I sleep on the couch wrong, it messes up my back for a week. I am not sure we would ever go so far as sleeping in seperate rooms, but I wouldn't bet against it.

[dhoffman19]

Anyone else tried this?

 

Yeah. For about 5 years.

 

I am a light light sleeper, my wife sleeps the sleep of the undead. I love my wife dearly, but I am certain that the baby Jesus will kick my wife out of heaven after one night because of her snoring. It is unwordly. I wish I could describe it, it is sort of like ocean, in how it envelopes you.

 

Plus my wife is an on-call EMT, so she has all sorts of buzzers and sirens in our room. I also bought her an I-home a few years back and it randomly plays Aerosmith songs throughout the night -- my wife has no idea that it does, and thinks I am making that up, because it never wakes her up.

 

One night I was so fed up with the snoring/sirens/Love in an Elevator -- I rolled out of my bed and like the Incredible Hulk I lifted the bed about 18 inches off the ground and dropped it. I didn't wake her up, but I broke one of her pagers, and Aerosmith kept playing -- so I grabbed a blanket and reclaimed one of our other rooms.

 

although some people will think it's some kind of reflection on the state of your relationship

 

I hear you. My wife is worried about this as well, and yells at me occasionally for sleeping in the other room. Apparently it's going to be published in a newsletter at some time. I will be sure to tell her that the dorks on BF.net approve of me sleeping in the other room. She will like that.

Don't mean to mock your pain, but this was pretty damn funny.

[hawing]

Speaking as one who has had trouble sleeping since literally my first week of life, if I thought separate bedrooms would help, I'd move out in a flash.

 

Actually, our current bedroom is the dark quiet one, so I'd move the S.O. out, but you get the idea.

[DougJones43]

My girlfriend and I are going to put a bed in our computer room. I stay up way later than she does, and she gets up earlier. Also, I sleep much better when I'm in a bed by myself.

 

Under this plan, we technically still share the master bedroom together, but I will probably just sleep in the other room a lot of the time. That's the room I stay up late playing video games and posting here anyway. Now, if I want to get a good night sleep and not worry about being disturbed in the morning, I can just sleep in the computer room. However, we obviously still have the option of sleeping in the same room when we want to.

[Marc Newfield of Dreams]

I can't believe this thread has gone on without a mention of the jimmy arm...

 

 

http://blogs.suns.com/files/Pictures/blog_festivus.jpg

[eanelson4]

Man, crazy hearing about all the light sleepers here. I sleep like a rock. Its a very difficult thing to wake me up.

[jwill535]

I emailed this thread to my wife. She goes to bed at 9 and gets up at 4, I have thought about having her admitted but anyway, I need to watch some TV to settle down in bed and cant fall asleep till at least 10. Another problem I have is that I am an itcher. As soon as I turn off the TV to go to sleep something itches and after I itch that spot it moves somewhere else so I end up chasing the itch for about 20 minutes. With that said she said she wouldnt want a seperate bed even though she wants to smoother me sometimes. Oh and once I am out I am done till 6, the house could burn down around me and I wouldnt notice.

[fondybrewfan]

I actually sleep on the couch most nights during the summer. This isn't because we don't like each other rather that I give off a lot of body heat and tend to breathe heavily when I am in a deep sleep. When it is cold out we will open the window and sleep in the same bed. I also like to fall asleep watching TV. We both think we are kind of weird but it is more of a comfort thing rather than a " Go sleep on the #*D couch you blankity blankity blank"

[brewers4eric]

My wife has the "jimmy" arms and legs that flail around in the middle of the night and she gets up numerous times to head to the bathroom. I just snore loudly, plus I grew up on a dairy farm, so I'm wide awake by 5:30 am. Our daughter will wake up screaming once in awhile, it takes one of us sleeping next to her to get her to calm down. Our son has been addicted to body contact since he was born, he needs to snuggle to fall asleep and both of us are currently too tired at night to try and break his habit. We'll probably be on an episode of "Super Nanny" sometime soon. I don't think that we've slept together in at least 5 months.

My advice is to keep your options open. Get the king size bed for the master bedroom and at least full sized sets for your kids. Find couches that recline or pull out so you can sleep comfortably on them. Make the necessary desk adjustments at work like George Costanza. I usually rotate between three beds and two couches in our house. I may be relegated to the old easy chair in the basement if we have any more kids.

[FVBrewerFan]

Since this works so well for lots of people, has anyone ever tried having you or your spouse sleep with someone else in their bed? Maybe that's not quite the same thing....

[Thurston Fluff]

We used to do it because I like to listen to music or the radio and my wife can't sleep with it on. It is weird but we both slept better. Then I found a pillow speaker thingy at radio shack and moved back in. A couple weeks of getting used to being belted int he head from a wife who cannot sleep in one place later all is good.

[jason21nl]

now I'm not married, but my ex used to stay over a lot and there were lots of times someone ended up on the couch. Either someone had to be up early or my snoring, someone tossing and turning or whatever it was, the couch was used often. I thought it was a bad sign that you're not compatible or something, but I'm glad to see that many people have that problem

[Weirdos19]

My snoring is directly affected by the amount of alcohol I consume in an evening. The more I drink, the better chance I just decide to crash on the couch.

 

Teri and I have had conversations about my snoring, so I have zero problem going to the couch. Plus, the couch is in the pitch dark, cool basement.

 

I usually don't have any problem going to the couch, even though we have a spare bed in the computer room upstairs.

 

I'd say I sleep on the couch once a week. Maybe twice.

[istanbultaye]

I sleep on the couch in the living room where it's cooler on occasion myself. But, I'm 100% single. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

[greeg35]

We sleep together, she insists; but I don't mind. No snoring issues; but I roll around a lot and we like different mattresses. She's also all elbows and knees. I just couldn't stomach getting a sleep by number....too infomercial for me. We solved it be getting a king-size bed and filled the frame with two extra-long twin mattresses and bed-springs. That way I can sleep and roll on my board without bouncing her around on her marshmallow and as a bonus, she doesn't elbow or knee me anymore (unless she does it intentionally).

 

Now that I hurt my tailbone somehow, though, I wish I had a little less of a board.

 

JWil: Have you tried lotion for the 20 minute itch?

[temke]

i just "moved back in" our bedroom. i was kicked out by my pregnant wife. i also have some horrible seasonal allergies. the combination of the two made for sleeping separate mutually beneficial.

 

so our bedroom went from 1 person to 3!!

[trwi7]

so our bedroom went from 1 person to 3!!

 

You're lucky your wife didn't have triplets. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

[cubfan1126]

I think the obvious thing that no one wants to say is they can imagine a lot less "spur of the moment" interaction with your wife, if you know what I mean.

Not a problem. You just have to find other times of the day and different rooms to have those interactions!

[tristarscoop]

I can see this happening with my bf and I. I don't sleep well with others - I move around a lot and I feel bad doing so, so then I get very conscious of it and I'm so nervous about moving that I can never relax enough to sleep.

 

In addition, I have the fan on pretty much all year long. I need the air to be moving or I get very uncomfortable. It's about the only non-exercise thing that will make my asthma kick in. My bf HATES the fan and constantly turns it off.

[Weirdos19]

I can see this happening with my bf and I. I don't sleep well with others - I move around a lot and I feel bad doing so, so then I get very conscious of it and I'm so nervous about moving that I can never relax enough to sleep.

 

In addition, I have the fan on pretty much all year long. I need the air to be moving or I get very uncomfortable. It's about the only non-exercise thing that will make my asthma kick in. My bf HATES the fan and constantly turns it off.

I won the fan argument. Teri hated the idea of having that "noise" going on when we went to bed. But, I insisted. Now she and I can't sleep without it.

[twobrewers]

My wife and I are married for 4 years - lived together for around 7.

 

We have never used the same blankets. It makes an amazing difference. We have a king size bed - so we each have plenty of room. We have a fan always going at night. (She wants the noise, and I am completely use to it) The noise makes it very easy to sleep together. Plus without tugging on blankets, we can cuddle when we want - and retreat to our own halves when it is time to sleep.

[danzig6767]

I've always been pretty terrified of the idea of getting married, this thread sticks yet another knife in those thoughts.http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif I came close a few times, especially with my daughters mother, but always got not just cold feet, they turned absolutely frigid.

 

As for sleeping, i'm the worlds lightest sleeper unless i go to bed trashed or just was involved in some seriously good lovin. On a normal night, i sleep so light that a spider crawling on the wall could wake me up. If i was married to a women who snores loud, i'd need some action nearly every night or i'd make the couch my new bed. Then again, i'm used to getting little sleep, five hours is a marthon sleep session for me.

 

BTW, i have a question for you married folks sleeping in separate beds, but i understand if none want to answer. If you're in separate beds, how do you get any lovin going on at night? I've never been married, but have lived with girlfriends. To get any action, it generally takes some hands groping around fun places to get things started, seems hard to do from across the hallway unless you you're this guy.

 

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[trwi7]

BTW, i have a question for you married folks sleeping in separate beds, but i understand if none want to answer. If you're in separate beds, how do you get any lovin going on at night?

I'm not married by my parents slept in seperate bedrooms. I could always tell. I mean, when you walk by the rooms and one door is closed and the other one is open and neither of them are anywhere to be found around the house you could pretty much get the idea of what was going on. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/wink.gif

[Principessa21]

danzig6767 wrote:

---

[snip]

 

 

BTW, i have a question for you married folks sleeping in separate beds, but i understand if none want to answer. If you're in separate beds, how do you get any lovin going on at night? I've never been married, but have lived with girlfriends. To get any action, it generally takes some hands groping around fun places to get things started, seems hard to do from across the hallway unless you you're this guy.

It seems you need to work on your game. My boyfriend and I once slept in different rooms and we never had a problem with "teh sexy time".