Advantages of being single?

[jaybird2001wi]

Howdy all. I have finally come to terms and accepted that I am a single and basically stopped looking for someone with the realization that if people are "looking" it never really happens.

But my friend told me there are advantages to being "single at 25":

1) More money saving

2) The longer you wait, the more you will be happy when that time comes

3) Better chances of not getting divorced when marriage occurs because the appreciation of relationships will be far better.

4) Better chance of finding a girl younger than you when it comes (I am 25 and if I wait another five years, my age bracket preference will increase much more)

5) Better chance of finding a woman who isn't "deemed crazy" by my fellow guy friends.

6) Better chance of finding a woman who I am not ashamed of bringing home to meet Mom and Dad.

 

Any others? Anyone care to disagree with the above six?

[jwill535]

5) Better chance of finding a woman who isn't "deemed crazy" by my fellow guy friends.

All women are crazy, just some are less crazy then others. It all depends on how my craziness you are willing to put up with(see any married man on these boards). While the younger ones are into being free, the older one's have biological clocks ticking and the urgency to find a partner and have a child increases. Women 25-28 seem to be the most stable, generally working on a career so they are not into the being free and yet still a little to young to feel the need for kids.

 

[EdgarDiazRocks]

1) More money saving

Yes, 'cause having two incomes is whack.

[Fatter than Joey]

All women are crazy, just some are less crazy then others.

 

I agree that all women are crazy, the science behind it is undeniable -- I disagree that some are less crazy than others though -- I think crazy is like a color shade, red is red -- but perhaps you find one shade more agreeable than another.

 

Any others? Anyone care to disagree with the above six?

 

I disagree with all 6 for the most part. I got married young, and it worked out for me -- but I certainly see the wisdom in taking your time.

 

I'd only worry about the thing you can address, which is you.

[Invader3K]

Being single means freedom to do what you want, when you want. You don't need to "get permission" to go out with the guys, or spend the day lounging around the house, or whatever you want to do.

 

I am very fortunate in that my wife is very lenient with me as far as my hobbies and stuff. I don't think you should feel like you need your wife's approval to do something, as long as it isn't interfering with your marriage, work, financial obligations, etc. By the same token, my wife doesn't ask me if she wants to buy something or go out with the girls, etc. I think what was nice is that she was slightly older than me when we started dating, and was already out of school with a career...so I think she had a more level head on her shoulders than a lot of college girls, the type of which I was frankly tired of by the time I started dating her (I was in my last semester of college, incidentally). The other nice thing was that we both knew we didn't want to play games or mess around...we got engaged about 9 months after we started dating, and married about a year after that. Almost five years later, so far, so good.

 

By the way, I did start going out with her after I had decided to "quit looking". I figured I'd just focus on finishing college...I'd had enough of dating girls and getting disappointed. So there is something to the idea that you will meet the right person when you're not looking for them, at least from my personal experience.

[DatHoser]

I'm the same as Invader3K, I wasn't looking at the time, either. It's kinda like a batting slump, when you stop trying to push yourself you'll break out of it.

 

As for FTJ:

 

I agree that all women are crazy, the science behind it is undeniable -- I disagree that some are less crazy than others though -- I think crazy is like a color shade, red is red -- but perhaps you find one shade more agreeable than another.

My hat's off to your wisdom. No truer words have ever been spoken by a guy about women.

[tristarscoop]

I have to defend and say that you all have your own "shade" of crazy, as well.

 

That being said, no one wants to hook up with someone who is desperate, so going out "looking" is pretty much the least likely way to find someone. Especially when one tends to go looking at bars, parties, etc... It's ridiculously difficult to start a relationship with someone you meet that way.

 

Remember that when you're looking to be in a relationship, you often try to force something that's not there. You meet/are attracted to someone, you want to be in a relationship, 1+1 and tada, right?

 

My bf and I will be at 3 years in Sept. We actually went to high school together and knew each other peripherally. We both moved away and when we each moved home, a mutual friend hooked us up because neither of us knew anyone in the area anymore. I had just broken up with someone I dated for 4 years, my dad had passed away, and I had just uprooted my whole life to come home. A relationship was the last thing on my mind. But there it was.

 

I'd just say relax - enjoy yourself. There are times when I talk to some of my single friends and I remember being young and dumb and crazy and know it's fun. Enjoy it while you can. There's nothing wrong with it.

[Fatter than Joey]

I have to defend and say that you all have your own "shade" of crazy, as well.

 

Men? -- No we can be asses and dipwads, but we are not all crazy as a gender. Ask any objective scientist, and they will verify this.

 

Now.... My theory over the years, based on my experience -- is that women are all born crazy, and men develop issues from the women in their lives.

 

I'd just say relax - enjoy yourself. There are times when I talk to some of my single friends and I remember being young and dumb and crazy and know it's fun. Enjoy it while you can. There's nothing wrong with it.

 

Agreed 100% --

[Principessa21]

I have to defend and say that you all have your own "shade" of crazy, as well.

 

Men? -- No we can be asses and dipwads, but we are not all crazy as a gender. Ask any objective scientist, and they will verify this.

 

Now.... My theory over the years, based on my experience -- is that women are all born crazy, and men develop issues from the women in their lives.

I'll have to disagree with you FtJ. My man is perfect, but from talking to girl and guy friends, it seems that guys have become the "kitty-cat" of the man-woman relationship. And that is definitely a shade of crazy and not because a girl dumped you.

 

The best part of being single: dating! I would flirt with any cute boy that would walk by me when I was single. Just enjoy it, and it's true, you'll meet someone when you least expect it. I met my current boyfriend in a sports bar. I was there, by myself, to watch the Yankee game, him Brewers, and we just started chatting.

[Fatter than Joey]

I'll have to disagree with you FtJ.

 

Of course. And tomorrow you will agree. It's because of the crazy.

 

it seems that guys have become the "kitty-cat" of the man-woman relationship. And that is definitely a shade of crazy and not because a girl dumped you.

 

This is exactly my theory -- The men that became "kitty-cats" were transformed into that by the raving lunacy of the women in their life.

 

For the record, it's not the dumping that causes the issues -- it's the time up to the dumping.

 

Enjoy single life.

[T B0NE 10]

more free time

[BuckyTuba]

1) More money saving

2) The longer you wait, the more you will be happy when that time comes

3) Better chances of not getting divorced when marriage occurs because the appreciation of relationships will be far better.

4) Better chance of finding a girl younger than you when it comes (I am 25 and if I wait another five years, my age bracket preference will increase much more)

5) Better chance of finding a woman who isn't "deemed crazy" by my fellow guy friends.

6) Better chance of finding a woman who I am not ashamed of bringing home to meet Mom and Dad.

1) Yes, I agree with this. I don't have a g/f that I'll be taking out to dinner or on vacation. This also includes taking out a family on vacation.

2) I'm not sure about this point.

3) Totally agree about this. I was ready to marry 1 girl in my life, and now I realize that I would have been completely unhappy living with her for the rest of my life.

4) I'm not so sure about this. I like dating women who are older than me for the most part.

5) All women are crazy, some more than others.

6) My parents are very accepting no matter who I bring home. On the other hand, the two women I'm seeing are both working on their PhD's. A lot better than some of the girls I dated in college who are now selling toilets.

 

[TSack27]

Any others?

#7 - not having to figure out what is bothering someone else.

#8 - not having to go to weird in-laws' family reunions.

#9 - not getting phone calls 5 minutes after your softball game wondering when you're going to be home.

#10 - not spending money on jewelry that could go towards fishing gear, power tools, or season tickets.

 

[uecker9]

[brewers4eric]

I didn't get married until I was in my mid thirties. I met my wife right after I had come to terms and accepted that I was single. Watch out dude, it is likely to happen to you at any time.

[tristarscoop]

We BrewerFan.net ladies should get some sort of "crazy lady" assumption pass. We were smart enough to come here, right? (or is that an argument for our being crazy?)

[DatHoser]

We BrewerFan.net ladies should get some sort of "crazy lady" assumption pass. We were smart enough to come here, right? (or is that an argument for our being crazy?)

We'll cut ya some slack, as you ladies are "a more tolerable shade of red." http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/tongue.gif

 

 

Sayeth FTJ:

For the record, it's not the dumping that causes the issues -- it's the time up to the dumping.

Once again, spot on.

[Fatter than Joey]

We BrewerFan.net ladies should get some sort of "crazy lady" assumption pass.

 

I am not sure why. After all, it's not necessarily a bad thing, no one is saying all women are "criminally deranged" crazy, rather more of a "googley eye/all babies are cute" crazy.

 

We were smart enough to come here, right?

 

No one at any point here said anything about stupid/smart. I have other theories about that, but those would be for another day & thread. That said, I am certainly glad you gals are here.

 

or is that an argument for our being crazy?

 

It's really not about arguments, rather undeniable science.

[logan82]

I just don't like how my wife tries to project her crazy on me by telling me I am doing something crazy only to find her doing the same thing a couple weeks later. Then of course she just giggles and admits I was right in the first place.

[GAME05]

i've learned that the biggest key to finding a girl is to be genuinely happy with your life without one. girls have this "he's desperate" radar that they run from, but the man who doesn't absolutely need a girl is human catnip. i say that to kind of disagree with the "stop looking" comment, because I think every single guy is always looking, just to varying degrees.

 

after a long bout of singledom I'm back on the dating scene again, and it's amazing just how many activities I was involved in before I met my girl (she's still an upgrade, blah blah blah). so many plans and current activities have been put on hold or cut far back.

 

apartment a mess? who cares!

did you have a pound of cheese and a beer for dinner? nobody's on your case about it.

never having to ask "what would YOU like to do?"

I never had to say "sorry, i can't tonight" when friends called me up to do something.

coupled people force their single friends into being the third wheel all the time.

[bullox]

1) More money saving

 

Depends - there are plenty of sugarmamas out there who will take care of their men. It works both ways, so this isn't really true.

 

4) Better chance of finding a girl younger than you when it comes (I am 25 and if I wait another five years, my age bracket preference will increase much more)

 

Younger is not always better. I would say it is rarely better.

 

5) Better chance of finding a woman who isn't "deemed crazy" by my fellow guy friends.

 

All that really matters is what she is to you, who cares what anyone else thinks.

[TooLiveBrew]

i've learned that the biggest key to finding a girl is to be genuinely happy with your life without one. girls have this "he's desperate" radar that they run from, but the man who doesn't absolutely need a girl is human catnip.

 

Great point(s) -- 100% true. The 'be genuinely happy w/out one' part is critical though. The 'human catnip' part doesn't come or work as well if it's a forced 'I'm too cool to need a chick'. That's more like human [whatever cats dislike... water?] as best I can tell.

 

 

coupled people force their single friends into being the third wheel all the time.

 

This is something that weighs on me, not being single. There are very few friends of mine that I feel cool with asking to hang out with me and the crazy... er, lady. I know how much it can suck to be that third wheel unless you genuinely are friends with each individual, not just 50% of the couple.

[tristarscoop]

i've learned that the biggest key to finding a girl is to be genuinely happy with your life without one. girls have this "he's desperate" radar that they run from, but the man who doesn't absolutely need a girl is human catnip.

I'll third this sentiment and say that the quickest way for a relationship to fail is for one of you to be looking for the other person to make them happy. If you can't be yourself and you can't exist both separately and together, you have no chance. This person is supposed to complete your life, not take it over.

 

[dadofandrew]

A few times a year, my wife takes our son somewhere, and I'm excited that I have the whole place to myself...eat what I want, do what I want, and so on. That is what's so great about single life...you can be selfish all the time and it's not selfish, it's "your life".

[Oldcity]

"A few times a year..."

 

That right there is why I have no intention of getting married any time soon. What you get a few times a year I can have all the time. http://forum.brewerfan.net/images/smilies/smile.gif