Sunday game recap in Olde English

[bball123h2]

LINK TO DEADSPIN

 

I'm just glad the Beery Nine won.

[TooLiveBrew]

That was pretty well-done. Thanks for the linkage.

 

"Ahead by a tally courtesy of a Russ "3TO" Branyan safety in the opening innings, Milwaukee's Finest came up for their third at bat against Twin City twirler Scott "Captain Shreve" Baker. Down they went, 1-2-3-4. And all via the 11th Letter. Unpossible, you declare? Not so, dear Reader. With The Hebrew Hammer, Ryan Braun, already retired after errant swings, the Porky Prince of Pop took his turn in the rectangle. Appropriately, given the holiday, Fielder failed to Honor Thy Father, and he too missed badly on a troika of swings. However, Mike "Smell Those RBI's" Redmond, backstopping the Chang and Engs, failed to corral a wide one from his batterymate, and the pill bounded so far into the distance that even the Portly Prince was able to reach the Right Sack."

 

...

 

"Far be it from me to question the Commish of Gilles Hot Dogs (duly noted-his Pride and Joy were beneficiaries of the Dubious Decision), but why bother trying to bring a hasty and unnatural end to these Glorious Afternoons at the Park? This reporter's Typing Brethren are responsible for much of the barracking about length of play. Ticketholders are free to leave at any point. Those who stay are presumably sanguine with the proceedings. So why hurry them from the fresh air and glad tidings? Given the seldom seen action earlier in the day, the Drive 'Em Out Directive was truly Irony Unbound."

[iluvlamp]

No NO NO nO NO!!! Weintraub should be defeated, not disseminated more!

[Electric Elf]

Great, yet another recap where Baker gets all the attention even though McClung got the win. And this time it's in impenetrable prose! (Weintraub is trying waaaay too hard to be funny at the same time he's trying to pastiche 19th century sportswriting, and he's failing at both.)

[tristarscoop]

Of course, it says it's about Saturday's game but links to Sunday's box score.